A Moment of Eternity
by zzzaney
Summary: Ayla and Jondalar have finally reached the 9th cave of the Zelandoni.....but have they reached home?
1. Default Chapter

Body

Ayla walked softly towards the river, gathering the edible and medicinal plants along the way without though. She tried not to think about Creb and her totem. He said she was home. This was her new home. Taking a deep, cleansing breath, she felt a warm tear cascade down her cheek.  
Everyone had been so happy when Jondalar returned, despite the fact they had a menagerie with them. They had both been welcomed with open arms. That is, until her past came out. She thought that Jondalar's reaction had been bad, but theirs...  
Ayla still shuddered at the memory.  
Dropping her basket by the river's edge, Ayla quickly shed her summer clothes and waded into the water. It only took the Zelandoni half a turning of the moon to convey a council, and pass judgment. Jondalar had stood proud at her side, accepting whatever fate fell upon them. Ayla caressed her round stomach as she sank into the cool water.  
"Jondalar, you are allowed to remain with your people, but the woman Ayla must leave." His jaw had set and he swiftly informed them that if she left, he'd follow. No matter what, he wouldn't leave her. For the briefest of moments, Ayla's fear of being alone engulfed her. No. This time would be different. She wasn't 'death cursed', and these weren't really her people.  
Before the next dawn, they had packed traveling bags they never thought they'd have use for again. Wolf whined in the still morning air, and Ayla reached down to give him a reassuring pat.   
Though Jondalar didn't look back as he hoisted his pack and lept upon Racer, Ayla did. She saw Marthona standing at the mouth of the cave. Sadness filling her heart as she bid a silent farewell to her son once again. This time, she knew it was permanent.  
Ayla dipped her head under the water, letting the peaceful rush of the water surround her. When she couldn't hold her breath any longer, she surfaced with a gasp. That had been over a moon ago, and they had decided not to return to the Lanzandoni. Traveling south, they knew whatever adventures awaited, they would face them together. 

############## 

Jondalar pushed forward, his head low as he guided Racer through the strong wind. The cold whipping about them felt like a thousand prickly thorn bushes assaulting his skin.  
Glancing back, Jondalar checked on Ayla who was sitting upon Racer's back. Winnie wasn't far behind, with Wolf on top. The snow was almost knee deep, and he wondered if they'd ever find a place that would afford them even a little bit of shelter.  
He had wanted to stop many times, and erect their lean-to, but Ayla insisted they keep going. He knew that starting a fire in these conditions was almost impossible, even with the fire stones.  
He was bone weary tired, and held his arm up to shield his face as he scanned the white landscape. Barely a tree to be found, let alone a cave. How long had it been since they met people on their journey? He still felt anger rise when he thought of the Palozarri. They had come across their cave a moon ago.  
At first they were so relieved to have found shelter. Ayla was nearing her due date and this winter had proven harsher than he had imagined. They were so frightened by the animals though, they refused to allow them to even stay more than the night, despite the fact Ayla was blessed.  
Jondalar's stomach growled reminding him of the fact their provisions were almost gone. He worried about finding game, but kept his fears from Ayla. Lately she'd been so exhausted when they stopped to rest, he'd been taking stock of their provisions. Not that he would admit it to her, but this would be the third night he went without an evening meal to make their food last. No matter what, he wouldn't let her, or her baby go without.  
"Jondalar"  
He turned to Ayla, his heart breaking with the sheer look of exhaustion on her face. "It is time." She stated, fear in her voice.  
Jondalar's eyes grew wide as her words sunk in. "Now?"  
Ayla merely nodded as she clutched her stomach. She leaned over in pain, and he rushed to help her from the horse.  
"Oh Doni!" he went to the back of Racer and fumbled with the travois. He had to get Ayla out of the elements! His numb fingers ached as he pulled out the hide for the lean to, hoping it would be enough. 'Why now Doni?' he questioned. Desperately, he allowed himself one last look around the landscape, hoping for something, or someone to help him out. 'Hold on Ayla, just hold on.' 

Ayla tried to stifle a moan as she lay on the snow. Glancing at Jondalar, she could tell from the stance of his body that he was worried. She shivered as the wind whipped the snow about her.  
Ayla had been experiencing contractions since early that day, but knowing they didn't have any where to camp, she tried to ignore them, pushing Jondalar to keep going. She had hoped they'd find a tree line, or perhaps a cave, something that would help block the elements. She knew they should have found a place to winter moons ago, but nothing they found would provide for both them and the animals. Not wanting them to suffer any more than they already had, she agreed to keep going.  
A tear trailed down Ayla's face when she thought of the foal Winney birthed. It had been a tough delivery, and the babe was stillborn. Both she and Jondalar grieved as if it was one of their own. After all, Winney, Racer, and Wolf were their family.  
Ayla was brought back to reality as another contraction came. She looked towards Jondalar to check his progress when a familiar figure came into view.  
The older man walked with a limp, his arm hidden in the folds of his furs. As he approached, Ayla smiled at the Mogur. She signed a greeting to him, as he head sank back into the snow. She was so tired...  
'Get up!' Creb signed, with force, to Ayla.  
Ayla frowned, confused. Why was he angry with her?   
'Creb?'   
'Get up now!' he repeated.  
Ayla struggled to stand, despite the pain.  
"Ayla!" Jondalar rushed towards her, dropping the hide as he supported her with his arms. "What are you doing? You shouldn't try to walk."  
Ayla's eyes didn't leave Creb. She had to obey him. It was ingrained in her since childhood, and she couldn't turn against it now.  
"I must follow." Ayla whispered as she staggered forward in the knee deep snow.  
Jondalar looked around. "Follow what? Ayla, you must rest!" He was worried that the cold had gotten to her, and knew he had to warm her quickly.  
Ayla shook her head, "Don't you see? He wants to help us."  
Jondalar didn't see anyone, and turned once again to the woman he loved. For the first time, he noticed how her eyes had glazed over. She was seeing something from the spirit world. When he first recognized what was happening, it scared him. Now that he was used to her journeys into that realm, his fear subsided, but his concern was as evident as ever. If Ayla said someone was there, he didn't doubt her. Supporting her as best he could, they made their way slowly through the blizzard. 

Jondalar sat Ayla down on the snow. They hadn't gone more than 20 paces, and she could no longer move. Panic gripped his heart as he searched the vast expanse of white.  
"Oh Mother! Please help us!" He called out. The only answer he received was a stinging wind in his face. "Ayla," hunkering down, he took her face in his hands. "Hold on, I'll get the horses and you'll be warm in no time. Just hold on."  
She didn't acknowledge him, and he ran as fast as he could to the horses. It only took him a few moments to guide the horses back to Ayla, but he couldn't believe what he was seeing.  
She was gone!  
"Ayla!" He called out over the wind, looking around frantically. Wolf ran past him and disappeared. He realized that with the blinding snow and the endless plains, he failed to see the small mound. The snow covered whatever it was completely, and he quickly guided the horses around to where the wolf disappeared. He could see the trail Ayla left when she disappeared into the....bushes? Jondalar dug the opening bigger and found Ayla laying on her side in the small shelter.  
"Ayla! Thank Doni you found this! Are you alright?"  
She nodded her head and he scrambled back out, returning a few minutes later with the hide. He maneuvered it under Ayla then brought the packs inside. There was just enough room to sit, though he couldn't straighten fully. Length wise, he estimated it to be about six or seven of his paces. Wolf nudged close to Ayla, whining softly as he licked her hand.  
"Jondalar," she breathlessly called.  
"I'm here Ayla, tell me what to do." He leaned toward her and stroked her face.   
"We'll need a fire. And the birthing blankets." She managed to say before letting out a hissing breath.  
Jondalar looked around for something, anything to burn. Reaching up, he broke a few branches off, and then dug a small fur out of his pack. Ripping it in strips, he added both to a pile near the entrance and reached for the firestones. For the first time in a long time, he thought Doni might be looking out for them. 

################# 

Ayla held the small bundle tightly to her, as Jondalar guided Winney with the halter he'd made for her. After everything they'd been through since Tholiza was born, he wasn't taking any chances. It was hard to believe she was almost two moons old. He felt uneasy leaving their temporary shelter, but they both knew they couldn't stay there forever.  
Wolf had managed to find some small game and Jondalar hunted whenever he could. Ayla had finally realized their supplies were dangerously low, and it was all he could do to convince her to stay in the furs with the baby. She had wanted to help him hunt, but he was adamant. They had found enough to sustain them since the birth, but not enough to build up their reserves.   
"Look Jondalar! Spring is here. The Mother is coming alive again." Ayla smiled as she pointed to a few wisps of green coming from the ground. She knew they had a long way to go before the snow would melt, but it never dampened the joy she felt every cycle at the first showing.  
Jondalar smiled up at her, noticing not for the first time how beautiful she was. "Why don't we rest here for now?" He suggested.  
Ayla nodded and Jondalar reached up to take 'their' daughter. He kissed her forehead as Ayla slid off the horse. Ayla pulled out the ground hide, and spread it at the base of a tree, near the new sprigs. It didn't take her long to have a fire going and a meal prepared for them. She glanced up at the horses, and noticed they didn't wander too far off. Both were digging in the snow to get to the grass, and she made a note to help them after they ate.   
Ayla placed a cup of tea in front of Jondalar, and he reluctantly held the now fussing baby to Ayla so she could feed her. He looked at the picture they made longingly.  
Ayla cooed at Tholiza as she nursed, and rocked back and forth. She found herself humming the same tune when Durc was little. Tears sprang unbidden when she thought of her son. As if sensing her mood, Jondalar scooted close to her and wrapped his arms protectively around her, pulling her into his chest.   
"Do you think we'll ever find anyone to accept us?" She asked.  
Jondalar paused, considering. "I had hoped we'd find some people to winter with, but I'm sure we'll find someone who's more accepting." He shifted slightly and looked down into her eyes. "Do you regret coming with me? There were so many people who were willing to accept us. We can still go back..."  
Ayla shook her head no. As much as she had wanted to see the Sharamundi and the Mamutoi again, she didn't want to journey for a whole turning of the seasons. She was so tired of traveling. All she ever wanted was to settle down and have her own hearth, and Jondalar's babies.  
"How much farther do you think it is?"  
"We're nearing the great wall of ice. Beyond that, Wymez said it should only take a season to reach the narrow straights."  
Ayla nodded, wondering if the feuds would still be going on after so many years. She didn't think it could. After all, Ranec was a grown man now. Certainly it would have ended years ago!  
Resting against Jondalar, Ayla closed her eyes and relaxed. 

Ayla stared at the mountain of ice and shivered. She'd thought the last glacier they'd crossed was big, but this didn't even begin to compare. They decided not to take any chances with the newest edition to their family, so they planned the long hike around the huge chunk of ice.  
It didn't really matter anymore how long out of their way it would take them. After all, they didn't really have a destination in mind. They decided to try and find the people that Whymez visited all those years ago. At first Jondalar was leery about the idea. He didn't want any kind of a reminder of the tall dark Mamutoi man. It was only after Tholiza was born that they decided. After all, what really were their choices? They had no people. Well, no people close, anyway. Who knew? Perhaps someday they'd take the journey back to the Mamutoi and introduce Tholiza to the rest of her family.  
Sighing wearily from all the traveling, Ayla added the last pack of her belongings to Winney's travois making sure they were secure. Jondalar still insisted she ride most of the time, while he guided the horse. It was a slow pace, but one he thought best for her and the baby.   
Turning to Jondalar, Ayla thought she saw movement from the corner of her eye. When Wolf growled, she knew it wasn't her imagination. Pulling her sling from the waistband, she dug two stones out of her pouch and quietly approached Jondalar who was holding Tholiza. 

Jondalar noticed the change in his love, and where her focus was. He glanced at his spear thrower, but knew he wouldn't have enough time to place Tholiza out of harms way, as well as ready himself. It was the first time in his life he felt torn between protecting his mate, and his child. It was the first time he felt totally helpless.  
Jondalar realized that Ayla was giving him subtle clan signals, and he moved slowly towards her like she said. When Ayla had free aim, she signaled for Wolf to go. He'd been waiting anxiously for the signal, and didn't hesitate once given the go ahead.  
Within moments, loud snarls could be heard as a massive fight ensued. Ayla rushed forward, picking up her spear thrower as she ran.   
"Ayla!" Jondalar yelled after her as she disappeared into the brush. He glanced around frantically, looking for somewhere safe to place Tholiza. Both Winney and Racer were prancing nervously, and he knew he couldn't take the chance of them stepping on her. His head snapped up when he heard Wolf yelp, and quickly picked up the 'baby carrier' Ayla had made. Slinging it over his one shoulder, he placed Tholiza in it and took up his spear thrower.   
He became aware of an unnatural silence that fell around him. No sounds of struggle, nothing.  
"Ayla!" He called again, and when no answer was forthcoming, readied his spear thrower as he practically ran to where he'd last seen Ayla disappear. 

Ayla ignored her shaking hands as she checked Wolf over for injuries. He was licking his left, front paw, and whining, but besides that she couldn't find anything.  
"Ayla!" She jumped as she turned to see Jondalar running towards her, Tholiza strapped to his chest, his aim ready.  
"What happened? Are you all right?" He noticed the huge black cat for the first time. "Oh Doni! He didn't harm you, did he?"  
Jondalar sank to his knees beside Ayla, eyes wide. He couldn't believe she was still with him.  
"No Jondalar, I'm fine. Wolf was hurt, but I don't think his paw's broken. He will have to keep his weight off it for awhile though."  
Ayla barely finished speaking before Jondalar wrapped her in his powerful arms. She couldn't figure out why he was so shaken. It wasn't as if they'd never faced wild animals before. Why was he so upset?  
Ayla pulled back and stared into his eyes. Looking down at Tholiza, she finally realized what happened.   
"You did the right thing, Jondalar. You made sure Tholiza was safe."  
He pulled back slightly. Why did it always seem that she could read his mind? He shook his head as his throat constricted. "You could have been killed! How could I just sit aside while you're in danger?"  
Ayla smiled and caressed his cheek. "Our baby must come first. We both know that. She depends on us. We're all she has."  
She relaxed when Jondalar nodded, and then turned her attention to the large cat. "Have you ever seen a cat so large? And it's all black!"  
"Didn't Wymez say a black cat attacked Ranec when he was a child?" Jondalar asked.  
Ayla searched her memory, then nodded. "We must keep a closer look out. They will be very difficult to spot with their coloring once the snow melts. Maybe they are common around this area."  
Jondalar nodded in agreement, as he held Ayla close to him once again. After a few moments, they knew they had much work to do. Wolf needed to be helped back to camp, and the cat skinned. They couldn't spend too much time in the area with the smell of blood on the air. And they had many fires to build up to keep predators at bay. Ayla also wanted to make a poultice for Wolf's paw.  
Jondalar smiled as he started to slit the neck of the animal. "What?" Ayla asked.  
"We don't have to worry about meat for awhile." As it dawned on Ayla, she too, smiled and started the difficult process of skinning. She gasped and froze as she stared at the carcass.  
"What's the matter?" Jondalar asked, concerned.  
Ayla pointed to the underside of the cat. "She's nursing." 

################ 

Ayla joyfully walked behind Jondalar, taking in the surroundings. She didn't do much of her normal gathering, preferring rather, to just enjoy the day. She couldn't believe how humid it was in early summer. She also couldn't believe that it had been almost a full turning of the seasons since they were banished from the Zelandoni cave. When they had decided to venture south instead of going back, she didn't realize how long it would take to reach the Arterians. She now knew why it had taken Wymez so long to return to the Mamutoi.  
Ayla found herself most days gathering the variety of strange plants. Here, the living conditions were very moist and hot. Winney and Racer, not to mention Wolf, were having a hard time adapting from the harsh, yet dry, winters near the great ice.  
Jondalar stopped, causing Ayla to almost run into him.  
"What's wrong?" She asked, as she took the opportunity to rub Tholiza's back. Most days Jondalar preferred to carry her on his back, in a leather holder. He'd designed it so the bones of bison gave support for her back and head. Ayla had to admit, it was a very clever way to keep her close, as well as leave a person's front open so they could do their work.  
"Don't you hear that?" He asked, glancing at her.  
Ayla strained to hear when something brushed against her leg, startling her. "Midnight!" She admonished, scratching the quickly growing cat behind her ears. She looked around for Midnight's brother, but he was probably still off exploring. Like Wolf, they always managed to catch up by nightfall.  
She finally heard why Jondalar stopped. "Drums!" She gave him one of her most breathtaking smiles. They had found the Arterians! Well, at least they'd found people...  
"Doesn't that melody seem familiar?" Ayla asked, puzzled as she strained to hear.  
Jondalar nodded. "It sounds like Mamutoi music!" 

Ayla and Jondalar had decided to leave the animals hidden while they introduced themselves. It had been so long since they'd been welcomed by a camp, they thought that if they'd perhaps explained about their traveling companions first, then there might be more acceptance.  
As they approached the camp, they realized that the cave was different than any they'd ever seen. It appeared to be made mostly from wood! Big panels were grooved out into concave shapes, attached by a mud substance that vaguely resembled the Mamutoi. Jondalar was immediately fascinated by the construction, and fervently hoped for another reason now, that they'd be welcome to visit.  
There were about fifteen people doing daily tasks outside the wood dwelling. At first Ayla was shocked to see so many dark skinned people! They weren't black as night like Wymez had described, but they were darker than Ranec. She was happy to notice many of them were women and children. She really hoped she'd be able to talk to them! A child shouted, and suddenly all attention was turned towards them.  
Jondalar squeezed Ayla's hand before letting go and raising both his in greeting. "Hola!"  
A few of the men who were around quickly picked up their spears and moved toward them. They were speaking a language neither Jondalar nor Ayla was familiar with, but from the tone in their voice, both knew it wasn't a welcome they had hoped for.  
Ayla thought she heard a few distant references to Sharamundoi, but she couldn't be sure. She knew given the chance though, that she'd be speaking their language within a week.  
"We mean you no harm," Jondalar continued. "we've traveled all the way from the Zelandoni and had hoped to visit with you before we continue our journey."  
An older woman, probably almost as old as Mamut Ayla guessed, stepped forward, speaking harshly to the men with the spears. They backed down with their stance, but didn't look too happy about it.  
The woman approached them, carefully looking Ayla and Tholiza up and down. Nodding her head, she then turned to Jondalar. She said something that Ayla could tell wasn't the same language, it was a question, but Ayla shook her head. She still didn't understand.  
One of the men spoke sharply to the older woman, while gesturing about them. The woman glared at him coldly, causing the man to become instantly contrite. Ayla knew this woman was well respected among her people. Perhaps she was like a Mamut?  
Ayla started to make sense of a few words here and there, since many people were talking about them. The old woman approached Ayla, and tapped herself on the chest. "Gandar"  
Ayla nodded and returned the gesture. "Ayla" she said slowly, then motioned to Jondalar "Jondalar." Then she pointed to Tholiza. "Tholiza."  
The old woman smiled and nodded her head. She motioned for them to follow her, and Ayla let out a breath. It appears they were being accepted after all.  
Most of the people parted when the older woman started walking towards the cave. Ayla felt very uncomfortable being the object of attention. She could tell they were most amazed by the color of her and Jondalar's skin, as well as hair and eye color.  
She had to remind herself that they weren't being rude, hardly any of the others had a taboo about staring at people. Ayla briefly wondered if she'd ever become used to it.  
The man who'd seem so opposed to their presence, suddenly screamed something and danced around holding his spear threateningly at she and Jondalar. Ayla covered Tholiza's head, as Jondalar stepped in front to protect them, his spear thrower at the ready. He wouldn't let anything happen to the people he loved.  
A growl came from behind them, causing the man's eyes to grow wide, and gasps from the rest of the onlookers. Ayla turned to see Thunder and Midnight racing towards them from the forrest, Dief on their trail.  
Mothers scrambled to gather their children and run into the cave, while the men forgot the visitors and took aim at the animals. Screams echoed about as total chaos broke out.  
"No!" Ayla and Jondalar shouted in unison, as Jondalar threw himself at the closest man, knocking him to the ground as he was about to launch his spear.  
Ayla ran towards the three animals as fast as she could with Tholiza in her arms. When she reached the cats she hunkered down protectively in front of them, and Wolf was quick to catch up. Anger welled in her when she looked at the cats. They were young, and their curiosity got the better of them most of the time. Though she had told all of them to stay, they disobeyed. Part of her wished she'd done as Jondalar had suggested and tied them, but she wanted them to be able to defend themselves if need be.  
She was so tired of traveling. Knowing she couldn't put it off forever, Ayla took a deep, steeling breath and turned around. She gasped at what she saw.  
Jondalar was sitting on the ground looking just as confused as her. All the inhabitants of the cave were kneeling on the ground, in a manner of deference. Wolf let out a low growl, ready to protect his pack but Ayla silenced him with a wave of her hand.  
Ayla motioned for them to stay as she went back to where Jondalar was. "Why are they on the ground like that?" she asked, hoping he'd know.  
Jondalar shook his head, confused. "They were getting ready to throw their spears, then when you ran to Thunder and Midnight, they dropped to the ground and haven't moved since. Are you alright?" Jondalar finished, concerned for his mate.  
Ayla nodded and handed Tholiza to him. Approaching the old woman, Ayla knew it wasn't easy for her to be in that position, her forehead touching the ground. She was reminded of the clan position for requesting permission to speak.  
Kneeling in front of her, Ayla gently touched her back. The woman looked up, fear in her eyes. Ayla helped her to sit up. She was very concerned about how these people would react to them now. It was as if they thought she was the Mother herself. There had to be some way to convince them she was just an ordinary woman. 

**************** 

"Gandar" Ayla smiled at the woman to try and reassure her. At first she thought the woman was going to make herself sick as she started talking, almost pleading, really fast. Tears beckoned unwantingly as Ayla tried to find a way to explain. Suddenly, Ayla heard a word she recognized!  
She had said the word 'Muta!'  
Excitingly, Ayla asked her in Mamutoi if she knew the language. The old woman gasped as she nodded.  
"My daughter's husband taught some of us." She finally said.  
Ayla was beside herself! Looking for Jondalar, she motioned for him to come forward.  
"I am Ayla of the Mamutoi, Chosen of the Cave Lion, Protected by the Cave Bear, daughter of the Mamoth Hearth." Ayla spoke while holding out her hands.  
The older woman acted as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Tentatively, she held out her hands and took Ayla's. "I am Gandar, Spirit Leader of the Poterians. I welcome you to our home."  
Jondalar then did his introductions, but he left off most of his family ties, which surprised Ayla. When she glanced at him, she noticed a prideful set to his features. She decided to remember to ask him about it later.  
The man who'd made such a ruckus stepped forward then, glaring at the two of them.  
"I am Karpin. Leader of the Poterians. What business do you have here? And why do those panthers obey you? Are you a Muta?"  
Ayla knew it would be hard to get these people to accept what they were about to tell them. After all, raising animals to live with people was a foreign concept to most.  
"The wolf has traveled with us for 3 years, I killed his mother and when I found she was nursing, I took him in and raised him as one of us. He won't harm anyone at your camp Karpin, I give you my word on that. As for the 'panthers'," Ayla used the word in his language to describe the black cats, "their mother attacked us this past winter and we killed her in defense. When we tracked her back to her cave she had three young pups, but hyenas were attacking when we arrived. We managed to chase them away, but it was too late for the one sister. The other two we healed, and now they also travel with us as our friends."  
Ayla took a deep breath, studying the man's reaction. He looked past her to where Wolf, Thunder, and Midnight were still sitting. They hadn't moved from where Ayla last left them.  
Jondalar stepped forward then and spoke. "We've traveled a long distance, and were hoping to visit with you before continuing on our journey."  
Gandar spoke then. "Where are you heading?"  
"A Mamutoi man told us of a people who live to the south of the great waters. We are going to the narrow straits to cross, then visit."  
Karpin shook his head. "You don't want to go there. We used to be Arterian, before the blood war. It's a long story of a battle that lasted many years. We were lighter skinned than the rest of the camps, and people started to distrust us. After a few years, we had no choice but to cross the straights and make a home here. Most of us came from different camps, and many didn't make it through the first turning of the seasons. The living conditions here are harsh, and there are many dangers living in the trees." Karpin unconsciously glanced at the cats again.  
Ayla shook her head in sadness. How could a people let something as petty as the color of skin cause families to be torn apart? "When Wymez told us about the fighting, I would have thought it would have been settled many years ago."  
Gandar's eyes grew wide. "You know Wymez? How!"   
Ayla was just as taken aback that the old woman would know him. "We stayed with the Mamutoi a full year. He lived there with his son, Ranec. He was also dark skinned. I was adopted into their cave, to the Mamoth hearth."  
Gandar shook her head with a smile. Looking at Karpin, he too, was grinning.  
Karpin stepped forward then and extended his hands. "I'm sorry for my lack of hospitality earlier. We've also come to distrust those who are different from us. There were many other people we ran into during our travels who didn't like dark skin, and made problems for us.  
As leader of the Poterians, I welcome you Ayla and Jondalar to our home."  
Ayla gave him one of her dazzling smiles in gratitude, then remembered there was one more thing they had to tell them.  
"Karpin, we also have two more traveling companions that we need to tell you about."  
Karpin looked worried as he glanced at the animals, probably hoping they didn't have more panthers or wolves.  
"We travel with two horses." Ayla let out a shrill whistle and soon the camp let out gasps. They had become quiet during the introductions, but now all were excited again.  
Whinney and Racer trotted up to Ayla and stopped just a few feet from her. She petted Whinney's neck reassuringly. It had been quite a while since they'd been around other people.  
Jondalar spoke up. "We need to know that the animals will be safe, and not hunted."  
Karpin nodded his head decisively. "No harm will come to them from us, but I can not guarantee they will not be harmed by the animals near by. We are always on constant guard to protect ourselves."  
Ayla nodded. She'd already realized how dangerous the area was, and kept an extra sharp lookout for predators.  
"Come, you must be tired. You can stay with us for as long as you'd like to visit." Gandar ushered them towards the cave, and Jondalar studied it appreciatively. He surmised it had to be at least 40 of his feet wide, and 60 of his feet long. On the curved top, there appeared to be trees sticking out every once in a while ,but the trees didn't have tops, and smoke was rising from some of them.  
"I can see you're interested in our home! Come, I'm sure we'll have much to tell, and hear." Karpin said as he followed them into the cave.  
"This is a lot of room for a small cave." Ayla said, not wanting to be rude, but wanting to know why.  
A look of pain flitted across Gandar's face. "There was a time our cave was so full we thought we'd have to add on. There's been much sickness over the years, as well as war. Many good people didn't survive. Right now we have some scouts out to make sure no one is planning an attack."  
Jondalar was shocked! "You mean the wars are still going on?"   
Karpin shook his head. "Not the way it used to be. Most of the caves suffered heavy losses, and a lot of the animals we hunted moved on. The Mother wasn't pleased that we fought each other over her bounty. Now fights break out mostly from what was done in the past. Most are young and can't remember why the fighting even started to begin with. Even I was just a small child."  
"Perhaps it's time to put the past behind and move on." Ayla said thoughtfully.  
Gandar smiled slyly. "That's what my grandson says. I think both of you will have a lot in common."  
"Where is he now?" Jondalar asked as he wrapped an arm around Ayla's waist.  
"He's with the scouts, but if all goes well, they will return tomorrow or the day after. Come, let's get you settled." 

Ayla stretched in her furs as the morning activity of the Poterians slowly woke her. The past two days had been wonderful! It had been so long since she and Jondalar had been welcomed to visit with a camp, and everyone had accepted the animals and them openly. Ayla felt a twinge of guilt. She hadn't been completely honest with them. She told them she was Mamutoi, but hadn't mentioned the Clan.  
Not that she wasn't planning to, she argued with herself, she just didn't want to face a confrontation so soon. Why couldn't people be more accepting of the Clan? Could they really not see how similar everyone was?  
A commotion outside caught her attention, and she sat up trying to see out the cave. An older woman she'd met, Nadkar, hurried into the cave past Ayla.  
"What happening?" Ayla asked in the woman's own language. Nadkar smiled excitedly at Ayla.  
"The scouts are back! They're on the far ridge. Some of us are going up to meet them! Do you want to come?"  
Ayla smiled back, her enthusiasm was contagious but Ayla shook her head. "I need to relieve self."  
Nadkar nodded in understanding and practically ran out of the cave.  
Ayla glanced around the empty dwelling. The wood carved cave was decorated with beautiful etchings of hunting scenes, mother figures, everyday scenes. Though the people didn't have faces, the etchings were so life like it was as if they were alive. Deep beautiful colors had been rubbed into the grooves to make a virtual treasure chest of art.  
Ayla surmised this was where Ranec's ability to draw and carve came from. These people were extremely artistic, and they placed a high value on only the best. There was a high competitiveness among them concerning their art, and only the best of the best were allowed to tell their story on the walls of the cave.  
Ayla herself couldn't find anything wrong with some of the others art, but when she tried to compliment Nadkar on her work, she shook her head and denied her ability. Ayla found that the subject could easily turn into a heated debate, and decided to change the topic.  
Feeling the need to relieve herself, Ayla quickly finger-combed her hair out, pulled it back and walked out of the cave. Taking a moment to look around, she noticed Jondalar sitting with a few others around a small fire. His flint knapping tools were laid out and he held Tholiza in his lap. She signed to him that she'd be back to take her in a moment, and headed off to the area the Poterians marked for 'natures call'. 

When Ayla returned to the cave, a large crowd of people had gathered and at first the noise was very loud as the new arrivals were introduced to the animals. She took a deep breath and steeled herself as she went forward. She hoped no one would object to them now. Right before she reached the gathered people, everything went totally silent.   
Curious, Ayla made her way toward Jondalar. He was faced away from her, and she could tell from his posture that something was terribly wrong! Tholiza was crying, and that seemed to be about the only sound coming from the entire group of people. Rushing faster, Ayla finally made it to Jondalar's side. She was just about to ask him what was wrong when she noticed his face. Ayla was shocked to see outright hate! Following his gaze, she felt herself grow faint as she gasped.  
"Ranec!" 

No one moved, waiting to see what would happen next with this unexpected greeting. Did Ranec know their visitors? If so, was there bad blood between them? Finally Gandar stepped forward scrutinized the three of them. Giving a decisive nod, she spoke.  
"I see you've already met my grandson. Come, it's been a long journey and I'm sure everyone is tired. Let's go inside and get settled, then we can talk."  
Ayla managed to pull her eyes away from Ranec's face as Gandar turned her towards the cave. Looking at Jondalar, Ayla knew what she would see ahead of time.  
She felt herself jump when his arm went around her waist tightly, possessively. Murmur's started again as they were led into the cave and the people went back to their regular tasks.  
Ayla knew that Ranec was behind them, though she didn't look. Small bumps formed on her skin as his eyes bore into the back of her. Briefly, Ayla wondered where his hearth was. Did he stay with his grandmother? She knew Jondalar would probably want to leave immediately if that was the case. She was also One who Serves, and as such they were also sharing the hearth.  
Jondalar sat on their sleeping furs and handed Tholiza to Ayla. She noticed he wasn't looking at her though, and as his head slowly turned, she knew he was staring at Ranec who walked past.  
He relaxed a little as the dark man kept going, not stopping at the hearth. Ayla glanced in the direction he'd gone one last time, then focused on Jondalar.  
"What do you think he's doing here?" Ayla whispered in Zelandonii.  
Jondalar's reply was harsh. "How should I know? It was your idea to travel here!"  
Ayla gasped as she sat back. Why was he being so mean to her? Certainly he couldn't have expected her to know that Ranec would be here, could he?  
"I'm sorry Ayla," Jondalar quickly apologized as he moved to take her in his arms. "It's just, he's the last person I'd expect to see."  
Ayla nodded as she leaned her head against his shoulder, holding Tholiza tightly.  
"He's done nothing wrong Jondalar. I'm just sorry that I had to make his pain fresh again." She softly whispered.  
Jondalar kissed the top of her head as he held his family to him. "You're right. He must have a good reason for being so far from Lion Camp. We should talk with him."  
Ayla gave him a breathtaking smile as she pulled back to wipe her eye. Though she knew he would try, his body language was still on guard. Thunder, Midnight, and Wolf all picked that moment to come into the cave. Both the cats made their way straight to Ayla, and she breathed a sigh of relief. In all the commotion she forgot about them. With the new people who just returned, it could be dangerous to both parties.  
Wolf on the other hand lifted his head, sniffing. It only took him a second to catch a familiar scent and he let out a yip causing the people around him to jump back in fright. It didn't help that he then took off at almost a run towards the back of the cave.  
"Wolf No!" Ayla called out as she ran after him, still holding Tholiza. Jondalar was right behind her and the cats decided to join in the fun as they followed.  
By the time she reached wolf, he'd already found Ranec and had knocked him down.  
"Wolf!" Ayla tried to pull him back by grabbing the fur at his neck, but it was difficult since she only had one hand to work with. Jondalar reached past her and managed to finally get the excited wolf back. Only then did they become aware that Ranec had been laughing.  
"I missed you too Wolf" he spoke in Mamutoi as he ruffed the animals fur. Looking up at the two faces he'd hoped he never see again, his mood sobered.  
Before he could speak, two large black cats came from behind Ayla to sniff at him and his belongings. Ranec scooted back, fear in his eyes.  
"Don't be afraid Ranec, they're our friends." Ayla spoke as she motioned the cats to her side. When he looked into her endless eyes....and that smile...he found himself lost again, just like two summers ago.  
Jondalar cleared his throat and Ranec dropped his eyes. When he looked back at the two of them, his face was schooled.  
"What are you doing here?" Ranec asked. He wondered if he was destined to be haunted by the woman he couldn't have forever. Though his voice was strong and his face blank, Ayla could see the deep hurt in his eyes and wanted nothing more than to take that away from him. Knowing any gesture of comfort she could make may be misconstrued by both men, Ayla held her distance.  
Gandar chuckled from behind them, causing all three to look. "There's plenty of time for telling stories tonight. For now, let's get everyone taken care of, and plan for a celebration!"  
The people who had gathered around them during the commotion all agreed excitedly. It had been awhile since they celebrated, and with the unexpected 'twists' they'd just seen, tonight's storytelling promised to be extra special!  
Only three people didn't share in the enthusiasm. How would the events of their convoluted relationship come out? How would they get around that?  
If Ayla had had a feeling of dread before, it was now doubled. 

################ 

Gandar had been observing her grandson ever since his arrival last summer. It was a blessing to see what kind of a man he'd become, and a heartache to realize the fate of her daughter. She knew his heart was heavy but never pushed. Today though, she knew his pain had something to do with their visitors. She poured two cups of tea, and delicately carried them back to Ranec's hearth.  
He was still sitting in the same place he'd been earlier, and nothing had been unpacked. He was in a great turmoil, and she hoped to help him.  
"Ranec,"  
He looked up and stood to help her with the cups. Once she was seated on his furs, he handed her back one of the cups and stared into his own.  
"Ah....a good cup of tea to calm one's nerves." Gandar remarked as she leaned against the cave wall. Studying Ranec, when he still didn't speak, she knew a little prodding would have to do.  
"Tell me about it child." She encouraged, and waited with the patience that could only come from one who'd lived a long life.  
Ranec leaned forward and sat his cup down. Placing his head in his hands, he sighed and stared at the floor. After a few moments he started to speak.  
"My other people, the one's Wymez was from, one day a few summers ago I had returned from a hunt to find Ayla and Jondalar. They had been invited to visit by Talut, the headman of the camp." Ranec's eyes took on a faraway misty look as he remembered.  
"I'd never seen a more beautiful, perfect woman in my life. I think I fell in love with Ayla the moment we first met. I knew she was with Jondalar, but something inside me didn't care. I watched, and I waited, and when....when they had a disagreement and Jondalar left the hearth, I took advantage of that and openly pursued Ayla. She was the mother incarnate." He pleaded to Gandar for her to understand. "All my life I had been searching for someone like Ayla, and all of a sudden there she was! She was in my own camp. It was as if Muta had answered my prayers by bringing her to me!"   
Ranec took a deep breath and focused his thoughts. "Anyway, I was successful in keeping them apart through the long winter. I knew all I had to do was tell Ayla to talk to Jondalar, and she would have. I finally convinced her to share my furs...." He swallowed hard, remembering how perfect she'd been. "By the time summer came, I had convinced her to mate with me, though I knew she still loved him. It didn't matter though! We left for the summer meeting, and finally the day of our matrimonial arrived. I was so nervous, I refused to think something was wrong. That morning when I woke, Jondalar had left. He'd taken his bedroll, his belongings....it was the first time I allowed myself to actually believe that Ayla would be mine!" Ranec stood and started to pace his small hearth.  
"I looked for her all morning, but she wasn't around. I asked Nezzie where she'd went, but even she wouldn't tell me. Finally I saw them. They were riding double on Whinney. I knew then.....  
Ayla told me she needed to speak with my in private but I still didn't want to believe she was leaving me. I would have crossmated with ten men just to be with her!"  
Ranec's voice grew soft as he finished. "She left that morning. I couldn't stay with the Mamutoi after that. By the time the summer meeting was over, I returned to the camp with the rest of my cave, but everything there reminded me of her. I....I had to leave. I didn't know where to go though, and finally ended up coming here. Wymez didn't want me to leave at first, argued how dangerous it would be but I didn't care. I half hoped that the Mother would take me. I couldn't bear to be reminded of her." Ranec sank back onto the furs as he finished.  
Gandar nodded thoughtfully. "And now she's here."  
Burying his head in his hands again, Ranec nodded. "I'm cursed, aren't I?" 

Ayla watched the silhouette of Ranec as he stood on the far ridge, the sunset framing him. The past few days had been hard for all of them, but she somehow knew it was especially hard for him. The night of storytelling had come, and all of them seemed to have an unspoken understanding. They stuck with the superficial everyday happenings of the Lion Camp, but none dwelled into the more complicated relationships.  
When Jondalar reached the part in their story that brought them to the Poterians, Ayla wasn't too surprised that he'd left out how she'd been banished from his people, which prompted their journey. Oddly enough, no one had asked her about how she'd come to live with the Mamutoi, she was open when she said they'd adopted her. Perhaps Ranec had mentioned something before in passing?  
Ayla wrapped more plants around her drying rack as she glanced up at Ranec once again. He didn't seem happy. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but he seemed very different from when he'd lived with the Mamutoi. His.self confidence was gone. Ayla thought back to everything that had happened since Ranec's return. True, he had one of the smallest hearths, though there were bigger ones empty, but after all, he was a single man. Perhaps they didn't feel he needed anymore space.   
Thunder had been playing nearby with the children, and the loud protests from them as the cat bounded into the cave with a favorite play toy caught her attention.  
She picked up Tholiza who'd been sleeping beside her and hurried after him before he destroyed it. The cat had taken his latest 'capture' to the furthermost back of the cave.  
Ayla scolded him when she caught up with the cat, and took the wood and leather doll back. Once the cat had slunk off, she realized she was right outside Ranec's hearth. Knowing it was impolite to look, she found herself staring anyway.   
Everything was neat, tidy, but something was missing. His traveling pack was stored against one wall, and his furs were on the opposite side. She caught sight of a plain Muta in a niche on the wall, and realized that all of his carvings, his art, was no where to be found.  
He'd always been so proud of his work, it was what made him unique. Ranec was one of the best, if not the best, carvers of the Mamutoi. When they'd been at Lion Camp, his hearth was teaming with projects. Some finished, some in the middle of being worked on. It didn't seem right to not see anything laying about. Realizing that she'd been there much longer than she'd planned, Ayla quickly hurried out of the cave before anyone saw her infraction. 

Gandar watched Ayla leave from her sleeping furs. At her age, she found she needed to rest during the hottest parts of the day, out of the sun. most of the time it was quiet enough, but the commotion of the cat and the children's cries had awaken her. She had watched Ayla carefully, studying the woman's reaction. More than anything she wanted her grandson to be happy and she knew Ayla was the key to that happiness. 

According to Ranec, Ayla had turned him down, but she thought that perhaps there was more to it than either of them realized. She thought of the Zelandoni man and how he fit into all this. Every time her grandson was around Ayla, he became stiff, defensive, and looked upon Ranec as if he were a predator ready to take away something precious to him.   
Sighing, Gandar rolled over to face the cave wall. What they didn't realized, she thought to herself, was that all of them were just as lost as the other, and the only way any of them would 'find their way home' would be to overcome all that had happened in the past. 

########### 

Jondalar hungrily took in everything he could from the older man, Utnab, as he worked a particularly good piece of stone. Wymez had been very proficient at the bilateral technique, but Utnab was the one who was shone by the mother how to work this stone this way. No one, not even Dalanar, could possibly compare with this man.  
Jondalar held his breath as Utnab prepared the last blow to the heated stone. When the older man held up the spear point, and examined it in the bright midday sun, his expression turned to one of satisfaction. He smiled at Jondalar as he handed his latest creation to him.   
Jondalar held if as if it were the most precious thing in the world. It was truly a work of art. How could he possibly use this on a spear? What had amazed Jondalar the most, was how they'd already knew about the firestones, and the spear throwers, and the thread pullers. Ranec had shared everything with his new people and Utnab and already made different, better points for the spear thrower, as well as improved the thread puller. Ayla had been amazed at the sharp point that cut through leather so well. It was just as she'd imagined it when she'd first designed the tool.  
At first, Jondalar was wary of staying with their new friends when he realized that Ranec would also be there. After everything they'd been through, he wasn't about to lose Ayla to the man with the laughing eyes. When Ranec chose to keep a distance between himself and Ayla on his own, Jondalar realized that the threat wasn't as great as he'd first thought. Apparently Ranec had learned his lesson. He didn't like the way Ranec would look at Ayla, and Tholiza, when he thought he wasn't being watched. A knot formed in the pit of his stomach at the thought of losing Ayla to Ranec once again. He knew it wasn't logical, but there would always be some doubt with him so close.  
Knowing Ayla really wanted to stay and visit, and knowing that they didn't have anywhere else to go, Jondalar thought of what was best for his family and decided to stay as long as they were welcome. Perhaps they could winter with the Poterians? After all, the last winter had almost killed Ayla, as well as Tholiza. He still shuddered at how painful it had been for Ayla to birth her. When she was born blue and not breathing, he wanted to die himself. As weak as Ayla was, she'd reached out to take the babe from him, and after cleaning out the mucus, blew into her mouth over and over until Tholiza let out a feeble cry. Ayla had smiled up at him letting him know their child would live, then passed out from exhaustion.  
Shuddering at the memory, Jondalar turned his attention to Ranec. Could he stand to be so close to the man this winter? The lodge, though big, wasn't as big as the Lion Camp. He'd be there constantly. Knowing no simple answer was forthcoming, and also knowing that they had some time before deciding, Jondalar pushed the arguments to the back of his mind as he once again concentrated on what Utnab was doing. 

########## 

It was very late when Ranec returned to the cave. Most of the people had retired to their hearths, their curtains drawn shut. He quickly put his pack and spear down by the entrance and quietly made his way back to his hearth. His heart lurched to a stop when he heard the unmistakable sounds that haunted his memories. Closing his eyes, he wavered slightly trying to block out the sound of Ayla in the throws of passion. He'd once, for a brief moment, been the one to cause such sounds to come from her. As he stood listening to her shallow breaths, her moans, he remembered how she'd glistened in the small fire from the lamp, head tossed back as she begged him to enter her. Feeling a tightening in his manhood, he bit his cheek to keep from groaning and quickly turned from the cave practically running into the night.  
Once outside, Ranec gulped large breaths as he collapsed onto his hands and knees. A fine sheen of sweat covered his body and he shook as he tried to wipe the painful memory from his mind. After some time, he was finally able to sit back on his knees as he looked up at the moon.  
"Oh Mother, what have I done that you torture me so? How far must I travel to rid myself of wanting for her?" he pleaded. Standing, Ranec headed to the river. The almost full moon reflected on the water as he hunkered down and ran a few handfuls over his head. His body still burned with wanting Ayla, and he sat against a tree before loosening his summer pants. Closing his eyes, he was once again back at Lion Camp, sharing his furs with the only woman he'd ever loved.  
He was unaware of his surroundings as the bright lights flashed in front of him with his release. It wasn't until his breathing returned to normal that he realized he wasn't the only one at the river. A twig cracking, and a shuffling caused him to reach for his spear, only to realized in his haste to rid himself of his demons, he'd forgot it at the cave. Looking for something he could use as a weapon, Ranec slowly turned. Hearing a growl, he froze in his spot. 

Ranec groggily opened his eyes, squinting at the morning light. He felt as if he'd been hit by a bolder, and slowly became aware of how the cold had seeped into his bones. A stinging sensation was next to follow and he let out a deep hacking cough. When he tried to roll over, he became aware of something heavy holding him down. Forcing his head up, Ranec saw the bloody carcass of a hyena strewn across him.  
Slowly, his memory from the night before returned. He remembered reaching for a large rock to try and defend himself, when something sank its teeth into the back of his thigh. He screamed from the pain as he twisted about, hitting it with blow after blow. The hyena finally let go, only to sink its teeth into Ranec's side.  
He didn't remember how he'd finally stopped the attack, just grateful that he did. With effort, Ranec managed to roll the dead creature off him, and held his side as he staggered to his feet. When he tried to put weight on his left leg, it gave out and he found himself back on the ground. Knowing he had to get back to the cave, especially with the smell of blood around, he mustered his resolve and half crawled, half shuffled at a slow pace. 

It was almost midday before the cave came into view. Ranec could see a few people out and about doing their everyday tasks, but he couldn't seem to get anyone's attention. Knowing he couldn't go on, Ranec tried one last time to yell before his world turned black. 

~~~~~~~ 

Gandar paced nervously about the cave. Deciding to check on more time, she wandered outside to look for her only living relative. Spying their leader, Gandar went over to him.  
"Karpin," he looked up from the spear he was shaping, frowning at her appearance.  
"What's the matter Gandar?"  
"Have you seen Ranec? He wasn't at his hearth last night, or this morning. I've looked everywhere but I can't find him. His spear and day pack are still in the cave!"  
Karpin stood and gently touched the old woman's arm. "I haven't seen him but I'm sure he's all right. He can take care of himself. After all, he traveled all this way on his own."  
Jondalar and Ayla listened to the exchange, forgotten by both. Ayla felt a knot form in the pit of her stomach, but held her tongue. Glancing at Jondalar, she didn't see any undo concern. As a matter of fact, he seemed somewhat relieved....  
"Aren't you going to look for him?" Gandar asked with a low, even voice.  
Karpin sighed as if this was a waste of his time. He hadn't really liked it when Ranec arrived unexpectedly. At first he tried to reserve judgment, but when he realized that the man had little to offer, he mostly didn't bother with him.  
"If he doesn't come back before nightfall, I'll organize a search party." Karpin then spied Jondalar who quickly looked away. "Jondalar, I want to show you this new technique I've developed for hunting the tree wolves."  
Jondalar stood and glancing at Ayla, walked over to him. After a few moments of quiet talking, both men walked into the cave.  
Ayla was fuming! If Gandar thought something was wrong, the least they could do was look for Ranec! After all, he'd been there for both her and Jondalar. Neither would be alive if it hadn't been for him. Gandar finally realized that Ayla was sitting there, and walked over to her.  
"Perhaps I'm just being a foolish old woman." She sighed as she sat down.  
Ayla shook her head no. "You're just looking out for your family. I would do the same."  
Gandar smiled appreciatively. Ayla could still see the pain in her eyes though. Making up her mind, she slapped her thigh. "I'll be right back, and then we can go look for Ranec, ok?"  
Gandar nodded, not trusting herself to speak as Ayla picked up Tholiza and headed into the cave.  
Once her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she spied Jondalar and Karpin at the headman's hearth. Walking purposely towards Jondalar, she waited to be acknowledged.  
Both men stopped talking and looked up at the same time. "Jondalar, I need to speak with you."  
Jondalar blushed slightly at her tone. He knew already what Ayla wanted to talk about, and wanted to avoid the subject.  
"I'm busy right now."  
Ayla placed Tholiza in his lap, then put her hands on her hip. "I'm going to look around the area with Gandar. Despite everything that's happened, he's our friend. He'd do the same for us and you know it!" Her anger was flared now, and she didn't care who heard. Her normal reserve overridden.  
Jondalar stood as Karpin tried to blend in with the hearth. "Ayla, if I thought for an instant that Ranec was in danger, I'd be one of the first to look for him."  
Ayla studied the man she loved, she could tell from his body language that he was telling the truth and calmed down a bit. Looking up into his loving eyes she smiled. "I know, I'm sorry. I just have an uneasy feeling. Would you keep Tholiza with you? I'm going to look with Gandar, perhaps it will calm her down."  
Jondalar smiled at her as he leaned down to kiss her. "Of course. Don't go too far."  
Ayla kissed Tholiza and nodded to Karpin as she went back to their hearth. Deciding quickly, she picked up her worn, red otter skin medicine bag, as well as her sling and spear thrower.   
Stepping into the light, she walked up to Gandar and let out a shrill whistle. Gandar looked startled until Wolf bounded up to Ayla. "Find Ranec" she signed and spoke at the same time.  
Wolf let out a short bark, then smelled the ground for a moment. Both women watched as he dashed past a few women washing vegetables and headed southeast. Ayla wished she could take Whinney but Gandar had, so far, refused to ride the horses when they'd offered rides to others.   
Gandar started in the direction Wolf had taken with Ayla by her side. 

Ranec stared at the sky as the shadows slowly moved across him. He wasn't quite sure how long he'd been laying there, perhaps a few hours. After he'd awoke, he'd tried to stand, but the most he could do was half-roll to his side. Giving up, he decided that perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing. After all, he'd been the one to beg the Mother to take him and end his misery. At least he wouldn't have to look at Ayla anymore. Look at her yellow flowing hair, listen to her throaty, sexy voice. Never have to watch those wonderfully soft lips move when she talked, remembering when they'd kissed him with passion. He wouldn't have to remember how her soft hands would tickle and dance about his body, teasing him to new heights....  
Sighing, he turned his head from the sun trying to find a more comfortable position to die in. After all, he knew he couldn't have that much longer. A few animals had wandered close to him during the time he'd been awake, he noticed, but none decided he was worth eating yet. Just as well, he mused, it wouldn't do him any good to be eaten alive. His mind was starting to wander somewhat, and he could have sworn he heard voices nearby.  
Realizing it was Ayla he heard, he dismissed it as another illusion. She wasn't there. She was with *Jondalar*. They were making love and Muta was blessing them with babies. Babies...Ranec thought of Tholiza and how she could have been the daughter of his hearth. She was beautiful, just like her mother. He would have loved to raise her and any other babies Ayla might have.   
The sun was starting to burn his skin, and he'd have done anything for a drink. Just as he closed his eyes, he felt a shadow fall across him, mercifully blocking the harsh sun. It was all he could do to stay awake, and he painfully turned his head to see the Mother herself leaning over him, haloed by the sun. Her golden hair danced about her as she touched him. He could tell she was talking, but couldn't make out any sound. Thankful she finally decided to take him, he closed his eyes and gave in gratefully. 

~~~~~~~~ 

Jondalar, heat some water hot enough to boil. Karpin, can you find me some clean leather? I'll need as much as you can find." Ayla looked around at the rest of the faces as she tore Ranec's tunic off. She gasped at the amount of blood there'd been. "Utnab, will you bring me a thread puller? One of your sharpest, as well as some thin sinew." Nadkar, I'll need your help."  
The older woman nodded as she moved forward to kneel beside Ranec. "We'll need to get his clothes off." Ayla glanced up at the crowd and frowned. Sensing her need, a man about her age called Taubin started to disperse them. Glancing over her shoulder, Ayla saw Gandar sitting on the bed platform, pale. She knew she should make the old woman a calming tea, but right now her first priority was Ranec.   
Jondalar returned with a big basket of water. "Finlatar had this already heating, she said we could use it." He explained as he sat it down by the fire at Gandar's hearth. It was the biggest in the lodge, and use for healing as well as other things.  
Karpin and Utnab had also returned, and Ayla, with Nadkar's help, started the job of repairing Ranec's side. It wasn't too deep, but there was one bad spot that had been ripped through most of the muscle. 

By the time she'd sewn his wound shut, Ayla was exhausted. She leaned back on her heels and took a deep breath. He was still bleeding! Ayla looked closer but couldn't see where his pants were torn. Puzzled, she looked at Nadkar. "He's still bleeding!"  
When Ayla started to undo and remove Ranec's summer pants, Nadkar quickly helped.   
"Oh Mother!" Nadkar cried, causing Jondalar to look up. He'd been sitting at his hearth with Tholiza as Ayla worked. Also, he hadn't wanted to be too far away from her. Hearing the desperation in Nadkar's voice, he quickly came over.  
"What's happened?"  
Ayla turned tear filled eyes to him, and fearfully replied, "I didn't see it. His pants, they weren't even torn!"  
Jondalar wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. When he looked at Ranec's leg, he fought the urge to blanch. "You couldn't have known." After a moment, he asked, "can you save it?"  
Feeling a renewed strength from her soul mate, Ayla took a deep breath and turned her attention towards Ranec again. Her professionalism firmly in place once again. "I don't know. He's lost much blood and muscle." She spoke almost as an afterthought as she probed the wound. Nadkar was already boiling more water and Ayla started cleaning the filth and grime out of the large gash. Once the dirt was removed, he started bleeding profusely once again. Knowing time was against them, she started to quickly repair as much damage as possible. Jondalar glanced over at Gandar, feeling for the old woman. After all, Ranec was the only family she had left. Luckily she seemed to be asleep. He covered her with a fur before going back to his hearth. It was perhaps a good thing she hadn't been awake. 


	2. A Moment of Eternity part 2

~~~~~~ 

Jondalar wrapped a fur around Ayla as she slept at the edge of Ranec's sleeping platform. The carver was still alive, but none knew if he'd regain consciousness, let alone be able to walk again. It had taken Ayla and Nadkar half the night of try and repair the damage, and finally Nadkar had returned to her hearth when there was nothing more that could be done.   
Jondalar sighed as he looked down at his beautiful woman, then over to Ranec. He knew she would push herself unmercifully until Ranec shown improvement. Deciding to surprise her, Jondalar started to make her breakfast with the tea she liked so well in the mornings.  
Checking on Tholiza, he was still satisfied she wouldn't be waking up soon. Going back to the fire, he was unaware of dark eyes on him until he turned to look at Ranec. Freezing, it took Jondalar only a moment to go to his side.  
"How are you feeling Ranec?" He whispered in Mamutoi.  
Ranec stared at him for the longest, and Jondalar could see a fine sheen of sweat across his forehead. Reaching down to check him, he jumped back when Ranec screamed.  
Ayla was startled awake, and looked around disoriented trying to figure out what was wrong. She scrambled to Ranec who was thrashing about, screaming 'NO' over and over.  
"Jondalar, hold his legs down! He'll tear out the stitches!" Ayla yelled as she leaned her weight across his chest.  
"Ranec, it's all right. You're with friends. It's me, Ayla, Ranec!" Alya tried to get through to him, and she could tell he was suffering from a fever. Even through her tunic she could feel the heat from his body.  
Ranec finally turned wide-eyes to her and screamed even louder. Most of the cave had waken from the loudness and some gathered around. Ayla was instructing Nadkar to bring some of the tea she'd made the night before quickly. With help from a few others, they managed to force Ranec to drink some.  
It didn't take long for him to calm down somewhat, and Ayla frowned at the words she was now able to understand. 

Ranec woke feeling disoriented, and wondered if this was what the afterlife was like. Was he in the spirit world? If so, where was the Mother? Looking towards the fire, he saw someone and relaxed. He wasn't alone after all. When the man turned, Ranec knew he had to have been punished by the Mother. He was in the underworld! His demons would follow him for all eternity! He screamed as it neared him, and tried to fight it off. What had he done to provoke her wrath? When another demon appeared, looking like Ayla, he knew his spirit would never rest. He had to get away from them! He fought as hard as he could while the demons laughed at him. Fighting with all he was worth, Ranec was forced to drink a vile brew, poison he surmised, and soon everything went dark again. He pleaded with the mother until the end though..  
"Why? What have I done to you? Oh Mother I'm sorry for every loving her! Please....no underworld....beg you...." 

  
Ayla was taken aback by Ranec's words as she pulled the furs back to check his wounds. Most of the stitches were still in place, and she didn't look at anyone as she prepared new poultices for him. Everyone had heard him, and she knew her face was hot with embarrassment. Finally, once he was settled, Ayla pulled a fur around him and wrung a piece of leather in cool water before placing it on his forehead.  
Gandar approached Ayla as she looked worriedly at her grandson. "Will he live?" She asked, not really knowing if she wanted an answer.  
Ayla didn't look at her, she couldn't, as she thought about it. She felt Jondalar's presence beside her giving her strength. "He's lost a lot of blood, and I've repaired as much of the damage to his muscle as I could. He's running a fever now, and is....is on the edge of the spirit world. The poultices will help to draw the heat from his wounds, and the tea will also help. If he does live, I don't know if his leg will survive. I may have to take it."  
Gandar gasped as she sank to the ground by Ranec's head. She lightly stroked his hair as she chanted. Ayla assumed it was something spiritual since she was also Mamut, but didn't ask.  
Standing, Ayla walked over to the fire and started to check the supplies she had left. Jondalar kneeled beside her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She looked up with tear filled eyes. "Oh Jondalar, he thinks he's in the underworld, and he saw me!"  
Jondalar shook his head as he pulled her to him. "Sshhh.... It's just the fever. He'll get better, you'll see." He offered, and hoped it was true. The wild look in Ranec's eye was one he'd never seen before, and didn't care to see again. Ayla had to have been right. He wasn't totally in this world.  
"I'm not sure Jondalar, I've only seen a few people as close to the spirit world as him, and I only know of one that made it back. Iza told me of this happening to some of the Clan. In her memories, there was a man who fought between worlds. With the help of the Mogur, they managed to bring him back, but he did not return alone. The rest of his life he was.....it's hard to describe. There is no word for it in our language. A madness took over him. He had to be fed, changed like a baby. He couldn't understand and couldn't hunt again. The Clan took care of him the rest of his life, but he was a burden. He didn't even seem to know it. Most men of the Clan would have left to die on their own instead of being a burden. The most Iza could describe it was as if he came back a small child. He....he didn't have his Clan memories."  
Jondalar rocked Ayla in his arms until she fell into an exhausted sleep. Looking at Ranec again, he knew that if the dark man didn't make it, Ayla would blame herself.

~~~~~~~~ 

Two days later, Jondalar, Nadkar and Karpin all managed to get Ayla to leave the cave. She had refused to leave Ranec's side, feeling responsible for him. Jondalar had taken her riding with Tholiza as well as the cats and Wolf. They all needed a few hours to themselves.  
Nadkar had promised to stay right by Ranec's side, and send someone immediately if anything happened. She was concentrating on stitching a new tunic when she heard a sound from Ranec.  
Nadkar quickly went to him, feeling his head. "Ranec, can you hear me?" She asked, and smiled when his eyelids fluttered open. Turning around, spied who she was looking for.   
"Karpin, Ranec's awake. Get Ayla." Turning to Ranec again, she was pleased to see his fever down. "Ranec, it's all right. You're safe now. Do you remember what happened?"  
Ranec tried his best to focus on the older woman. The wooden rings she wore around her neck clicked as she bustled about him. Try as he might, he couldn't seem to remember. 

"Don't worry, Ayla will be back soon. She's been taking care of you." Nadkar informed him. 

Ranec closed his eyes as the sound of her name made the memories come rushing back. He remembered why he was at the river that night, and the hyena. How did he get here? He could have sworn he was in the spirit world, being punished.  
"Hyena." He managed to croak out, and Nadkar held his head as she gave him some cooled tea.  
Feeling it was easier to speak now, Ranec was about to ask how long it'd been when Gandar approached, supported by Finlatar. 

"Ranec, you're back with us! Thank Artan! I thought I'd lost you." She bent down and kissed his forehead, causing him to smile. Despite everything he'd been through since arriving, she'd always been there for him.  
"I'm not going anywhere," he assured her, and sighed inwardly. It was apparent he was meant to suffer in this world.  
Ranec looked about him. He wasn't surprised to be at Gandar's hearth, but blanched when he realized he was right beside Ayla's hearth. His sleeping furs were right next to theirs. The only thing separating his head from theirs was about three of his feet and a curtain. Could his luck get any worse?  
Knowing he wasn't about to stay here, he tried to roll over to stand.   
"What do you think you're doing?" Nadkar admonished as she gently pushed him back down. If she hadn't stopped him, the pain certainly would have.  
Embarrassed when he realized most of the cave was watching him, he managed to stammer, "I...I was just...I needed to...."  
Gandar smiled at Nadkar as they nodded knowingly. Most of those around him also took note and after giving a word of encouragement, left to give him some privacy.  
Nadkar reached over for a tightly woven basket and Ranec's eyes grew wide. Pulling the furs tightly against him, he shook his head. "I changed my mind, not right now."  
Nadkar tried not to smile at his discomfort and discretely placed it on the floor. Pain flitted across Ranec's features and she poured more tea.  
"Here, this will help with the pain."  
Ranec took a few more sips and felt his eyes growing weary. Within minutes, he was fast asleep. 

Ayla practically ran into the cave. "How is he?" She breathlessly asked as she checked him over.  
Nadkar smiled from ear to ear. "He was awake. And talking. He said it was a hyena that attacked him. I'm surprised about that. There aren't too many of those around here. I assumed it was a wild boar."  
"Did he say if anything was bothering him more than others?"  
"No. I could tell he did have pain though, and gave him tea. He tried to stand, said he had to relieve himself, but I wouldn't let him get up."  
Ayla nodded as she checked his side, then drew the furs down to examine his thigh. They still hadn't dressed him since cutting his clothes off, and Ayla realized that his tunic would have to be repaired and cleaned.   
She washed him down as best she could, then turned her attention to his clothes. She was still puzzled how he could have sustained such an injury without tearing his pants. There was much blood, and she thought it would be best to clean them before he woke again and needed them. Not wanting to leave his side, she readied a large basket of water, and dug out some soap root. As she was about to dip them into the basket, she did a double take.  
Was that? No, it couldn't be......Ayla looked closer and felt her face grow red. At least she now knew why his pants weren't torn. Glancing at Ranec, she wondered who he had been thinking of during....  
Not being able to finish the thought, Ayla quickly dunked the pants and began scrubbing, trying to think of other things.

~~~~~~~~~~ 

Ranec opened his eyes to see a pair of concerned blue ones looking back at him. Ayla smiled as she waited for his drowsiness to wear off.   
"How are you feeling?"   
Ranec looked around the cave as best he could from his position. When he looked back at Ayla, she was holding a cup waiting patiently.  
"This will help with the pain, but it won't make you sleepy." She helped to support his head while he took a few sips.  
"I've been hoping you'd wake up. I need to check you and ask you a few questions, ok?"  
Ranec shifted uncomfortably as he thought of his options. Really he didn't have any. Sighing, he nodded his ascent and regretted it almost immediately when Ayla closed the curtain and pulled the furs off him.  
The air on his skin reminded him he was totally naked, and he tried to think of anything to hide his embarrassment.  
"Would you try and move your toes for me? I know it will be painful, but try."  
Ranec was brought back to reality as he thought of his injuries. As soon as he tried to move his toes, he regretted it. The pain that shot through him was immense and he couldn't help but give voice to it.  
"That's ok. Try and relax. Just tell me if you can feel this." Ayla took a thread puller and pushed lightly on the insole of his foot, her eyes never leaving Ranec's face.   
"Anything?"  
He shook his head no and she tried another area. Still nothing. Ayla tried different parts of his leg, moving upward and was slightly relieved when he acknowledged he felt something near his groin.  
Not giving anything away with her expressions, Ayla then concentrated on his two wounds, changing the poultices. Once she was finished, she replaced the covers and sat on the edge of his furs.  
Neither knew quite what to say. It was the first time Ayla could remember being alone with Ranec, awake, since they'd arrived. What was there to say?  
She finally settled on, "You still have a lot of healing to do."   
Ranec cleared his throat, "how soon can I go back to my own hearth?"  
"Not for awhile. We all thought we'd lost you. For now, it's best to be where I can treat you better. And Gandar will be more relieved to have you near also."  
Ranec nodded and tried to focus on anything but Ayla.   
"Are you hungry? It's been almost 4 days since you've eaten. If not, I can make you some more tea."  
"Maybe some tea."  
Ayla breathed a sigh of relief and went about preparing him a fresh cup. She did have other tea warming, but she felt they both needed the time to think. Once it was cooled enough, she turned back to him and helped support him again.  
"Thank you." Ranec quietly whispered.  
Ayla nodded and once again the two sat in silence. It was only mid morning, and everyone was outside taking care of drying the meat from the latest hunt.  
"I still have the carving of Whinney you made for me." Ayla said as way of an opener.  
"I'd forgotten all about that." Ranec answered monotone. Truth be told, it was one of the last things he'd ever made that he put his soul into. During his travels he hadn't had much time to carve, or motivation. When he'd arrived, he was at first relieved that he'd found his mother's people, and that he had close kin.  
He had been impressed with the skill of the artists, and began again with renewed fervor. It didn't take long for his joy to diminish. Though he'd always been a good hunter, and one of the best carvers among the Mamutoi, here, he was just another member. His status was determined to be one of the lowest in the cave. Ranec scoffed to himself, who was he kidding? He WAS the lowest ranked in the cave.   
Even though Gandar was his mother's mother, and Mamut, he didn't have any remarkable skills to offer for himself. Even though he'd showed them the firestones and the threadpuller, as well as spear thrower, he hadn't been the one who'd invented them.  
He knew that Karpin was hesitant to accept him, but Gandar had argued that he was blood. As such, he didn't need acceptance, he already belonged. Most of the people were nice enough to him, but he knew it wasn't enough. He couldn't even convince a woman to share his furs except on the rare mother's festival. Here, black was still 'rare' and he was lighter than most. What was attractive to the women here were darker men. The darker the man, the more attractive.  
Ranec glanced at Ayla and inwardly sighed. What would she ever know about rejection? She was loved by almost everyone. Her status was high, and she would never be a cast out like himself. Ayla was chosen by the mother herself, and no one dared to go against her. He briefly wondered what his life would have been like had they mated. He would have raised her children, they would have held high status among their people. Life would have been.....perfect.  
If Ayla sensed his retrospect mood, she didn't mention it. After a few minutes of awkward silence, she stood and gave him a smile.  
"I'm going to go check on Tholiza. It's soon time for her to nurse. I'll have Nadkar come stay with you, if that's alright?"  
Ranec nodded, not able to meet her eyes. When she turned to go though, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her retreating form.

~~~~~~~~ 

Ayla grimly sat by the fire as she watched Jondalar work a piece of stone. Most of the mood of the cave was subdued. A warring cave's scout was spotted nearby, and they knew it would probably not be long before another attack. Most of the men were working on extra weapons, spear points, and look outs had been posted. The women weren't allowed to stray far from the cave, and if they did go, a man had to go with them.  
Ayla was constantly worried about Whinney and Racer. Though she'd put colored hides on them, she didn't think that would matter to someone who's intent was malicious. She absentmindedly stroked Midnight as she stared into the fire.  
"Jondalar?"  
"Hhmm?" He didn't look up from the task at hand.  
"What will we do about Whinney and Racer? I don't want to leave them alone out there, but really, there isn't anywhere in here they could come, even if it was ok with the cave."  
Jondalar looked up into her worried eyes. He too, had been thinking a lot about the battles they'd heard about, and didn't want to experience one first hand. Taking a deep breath, he decided to plunge ahead.  
"I've been thinking about leaving."  
Ayla gasped in shock. "What? Why?"   
"If things come close to the cave, and I'm fairly assured they will, all of us will be in danger. Part of me wants to stay and help them fight, but the other part only wants to get you and Tholiza as far away from this as possible. I know you're tired of traveling." Jondalar quickly added, "but we need to think about what's best for her." Jondalar looked over at Tholiza who was sleeping by Ayla.  
The turmoil she'd been feeling seemed to have doubled after Jondalar spoke. "I don't want to leave. Where would we go? What if it's another harsh winter? And I can't leave Ranec. Not yet. His injuries are still concerning me."  
The last thing Jondalar was expecting to hear was the carver's name brought into this. A fleeting stab of jealousy went through him, but he hoped Ayla hadn't noticed.  
"I thought he was out of danger."  
Ayla sighed as she stirred the fire. "He's healing, yes, but there was much damage done to his leg. Right now it could go either way. If his leg doesn't improve, it could turn black with sickness and then I'd.... It would have to be amputated."  
Jondalar hadn't realized that Ranec's injuries were that serious. True, he'd been in bad shape when Ayla and Gandar found him, but that was almost a week ago!  
They both looked up when someone screamed only to see the front of the cave become engulfed in flames as torches were thrown at the opening.

Everyone scrambled about. The women snatched their children away from the blaze as the men grabbed baskets of water and hides to try and douse the blaze. Both Ayla and Jondalar ran to help. There was no 'back entrance' to the cave and since it was made of wood, if they couldn't put the fire out quickly it would become their tomb.   
Pulling a hide down from a nearby hearth, Ayla started to beat the fire to smother it. The smoke was thick and dark, making it almost impossible to see anything. There had been a few members of the cave outside, but their fate was yet unknown.  
"Get this side! I can't stop it!" Karpin yelled as he too, beat a hide against the side of the cave. More people joined in the fight once the children were at the back of the cave and Ayla could hear screams coming from all directions.  
Jondalar ignored everything around him as he tried his best to put out the fire. It wasn't until the last flame was gone, and the cave doused with water that anyone dared to rest.  
The children were quickly hurried out of the cave. Though they had been in the rear, the thick smoke choked their lungs. Ayla knew there was much work to be done. Some of the people had suffered burns as they tried to save their home, and some suffered from the smoke.   
She turned in fear towards the cave. "Tholiza!"  
Ayla ran at a dead run through the opening, still smoldering at parts. "THOLIZA!" She cried out again as she searched the furs.  
"Over here."   
Ayla turned towards the sound just as Jondalar ran up behind her. "Where is she?" he asked.  
They heard coughing and Ayla quickly made her way towards a hearth further back. It was almost impossible to see, and both Ayla and Jondalar were forced to get on their hands and knees. Crawling as fast as she could, Ayla made her way towards the sound.  
"Where are you?"  
"Here."   
She was startled to hear the voice so close to her. Turning left, she found Ranec laying on the floor coughing. He was holding Tholiza!  
"We have to get them outside!" Ayla spoke to Jondalar, and as she scooped Tholiza into her arms. Jondalar took Ranec's arm and wrapped it around his shoulder as he tried to stand.  
"Aarrgghh!" the pain that ripped through Ranec was worse than searing, but he knew he couldn't stay in the cave.  
Utnab appeared from the smoke and took Ranec's other arm as they dragged him out of the cave.  
It wasn't until they were safely outside that Ayla noticed Tholiza had a wet hide from a reindeer across her nose and mouth. She collapsed on the grass as another coughing fit took over.  
Jondalar and Utnab laid Ranec down beside her, and Jondalar tried to ask Ayla if she was alright, but his coughing was too intense and his eyes stung.   
Karpin went from person to person checking for injuries and making sure everyone was accounted for. There were three people missing, and he knew they hadn't been in the cave when the fire started. One was his cousin's son, Toban, and his mate Shakor. The third was their baby boy Tippin. He asked everyone one if they'd seen the young couple. They'd only been mated one turning, and the baby wasn't even three moons old.  
"How is she?" Jondalar finally managed to ask.  
Ayla looked at Ranec gratefully with tear filled eyes. "She's fine. Thanks to Ranec."  
Not being able to control her feelings, Ayla reached over and gave him a crushing hug. At first Ranec was too stunned to think. His chest burned, his eyes watered, and he felt as if he couldn't get enough air. Realizing Ayla was actually hugging him finally seeped through his dazed senses. He tentatively wrapped his arms around her returning the gesture.  
"How can I ever repay you?" she choked in a sob.   
Ranec patted her back comfortingly as she cried out her fear. Glancing at Jondalar, he regrettably pulled back from her. "  
You would have done the same."  
Nadkar was hesitant to approach the emotional scene. Knowing others needed more help than she or Gandar could provide, she cleared her throat.  
"Ayla, Karpin would like to know if you could help us. Some of the cave have sustained injuries, and Toban and his family are missing. Karpin's arranging a search party but he also needs some strong men to stay here and protect the women and children. Whoever did this could still be around.  
Jondalar nodded. "I'll go see what he want's me to do."  
"Of course!" Ayla, in her panic for her daughter, had forgotten all about everyone else. She felt ashamed at her actions and looked around. Remembering that her medicine bag was still in the cave, she handed Tholiza to Nadkar. "I'll be right back. I have to get my bag. Ranec, will you be alright for now?"  
He nodded as he watched her go into her take charge mood again. Ayla looked at Nadkar. "get everyone with burns in one area, and those just suffering from the smoke in another. I'll need a fire and quite a bit of water boiling for poultices and for making tea."  
Nadkar quickly went to do what Ayla had said while Ayla went back into the cave once again.

The mood around the camp was subdued as dusk set in. The reality of what had happened was starting to sink in, and the Poterian's realized that this war had gone to a level none had thought possible. It was the first time that such an act of pure evil had been perpetrated by the other side.   
The search party was still away, and lookouts had been posted all around. None of the people could stay inside the cave yet, and the hides were pulled back to help let out the smoke. Some of the adults had gone back inside to retrieve furs and other things they'd need for the night. Small fires had been started about the clearing near the entrance to the cave, and all worried that the attack wasn't over yet.  
Ayla was lost in thought as she placed more salve on the thigh of a small girl, around five years of age. She had been by the opening when the fire started, and was very lucky to still be alive. It had been a long day for everyone. All in all, four people had suffered burns, one serious. Almost every member of the camp suffered from smoke inhalation and all Ayla could do was make a cleansing wash for their eyes, and give them tea that helped them cough up the smoke.  
Luckily all the animals had been unhurt, and Ayla glanced about to see Wolf with a few children, sleeping on a pile of furs, as Midnight and Thunder slept nearby with some of the older ones.  
Standing, Ayla offered a smile to the girl's mother and made her way over to Ranec. With the impromptu camp, Gandar and he had somehow managed to share a fire with Ayla and Jondalar.  
Ayla eyed Gandar for any undo signs of stress. She was pretty old and the smoke could affect the very young as well as the old more so than people her age. Ayla settled herself beside Ranec and decided to make them all something to eat. As she pulled out a basket with dried meat, she felt a hand on her arm.  
"Don't worry about that right now. No one really feels like eating, and Gandar's already asleep. Why don't you get some rest?"  
Ayla sat back and sighed. "Why Ranec? What would make someone do something so terrible?"  
Ayla was exhausted and the tone of her voice belied that. Ranec pulled her towards him as he laid on his furs and wrapped a comforting arm around her. "I don't know. The fighting has been getting worse lately, but this...this is something that I don't think anyone would ever have expected."  
"Who are the people who are doing this? Are they Arterian?"  
Ranec thought over how much he should tell her, then answered quietly. "No. They're Altamians. They live to the east of us. Their people had been here for many generations, and when the Arterian's came across the straights, they said we were infringing on their hunting grounds. There really wasn't anywhere else for us to go. At first they ignored us for the most part, but as time went by the Mother became sad. She stopped providing for her children like before, and that's when things started to get bad."  
"Are you sure that's how all this started?"  
Ranec nodded. "Gandar told me not long after I'd arrived. She wanted me to know everything before I decided to stay."  
Ayla sighed at how silly this entire war seemed. Certainly they'd been through hard times, but it seemed the Mother was providing amply for her children now. Why were they still fighting? Ayla sat up awkwardly. She must have been more tired than she realized. What if Jondalar had seen them? It wasn't as if they were doing anything wrong, but still. She didn't want any misunderstandings like the ones that almost drove them apart.  
"I'll let you rest now, and tomorrow morning I want to change your bandages again."  
Ranec nodded as Ayla went to her own furs and snuggled in beside Tholiza. Moving to his back, he looked up at the heavens and sighed. Not for the first time, he wondered what his purpose was for being here. For being alone. 

~~~~~~

Ayla stretched and opened her eyes, momentarily disoriented. Why was she sleeping outside? Everything from the day before came back to her instantly, and she sat up scolding herself for sleeping so late.   
She looked over at Ranec who was watching the others start their morning routines. Ayla knew she'd normally have been up before at least most of these people.  
"Why didn't you wake me?" she asked Ranec and Gandar, who was sitting by the fire with a basket of soup on.  
"I wouldn't let him. You needed your rest, and there's nothing that couldn't wait."  
Ayla started to protest when Tholiza picked that moment to wake and start fussing. As if on cue, Ayla felt her milk come in and picked the baby up to nurse her. She made her way over to the fire as she looked around for Jondalar.  
"Did the search party make it back yet?"  
Gandar shook her head. "The Mother spoke with me last night. There is a new evil among the Altamians. I don't know what it is, but this was not the wish of the Mother. There is nothing left for the search party to find." Gandar finished in all but a whisper.  
Ayla hoped it wasn't true. Just the thought of evil ran a shudder through her body. Gandar handed her a cup of tea and Ayla looked at it briefly. She normally would add some golden thread, but that was still in the cave. Her 'supply' had run out and the new plants she picked were still on the drying racks by her hearth. Knowing there was much to be done, she made a mental note to take some later as she downed the warm liquid. Gandar tried to hand her a wooden cup of broth, but Ayla shook her head.   
"I need to check on everyone. Would you watch Tholiza for me?"  
Gandar frowned as she placed the cup down. "I'm afraid I can't do that right now. I must speak to the spirits for guidance."  
"I'll watch her Ayla."  
She looked over at Ranec, unsure. "I know I can't really go anywhere," he sarcastically joked, "but neither can she." He ended by giving her one of his winning smiles. She couldn't help but smile back, she never could. Gandar eyed the two appreciatively. She knew her grandson had a spark in him, it was about time he let it show.  
"Alright. As long as you're sure. You're still recovering though. If you feel tired you have to promise to let me know right away."  
"I promise."  
Ranec watched as Ayla burped the baby, then changed her padding. Finally, she held her out to him. Ranec took the child carefully, and for a moment, allowed himself to pretend she was of his hearth.  
Once Tholiza was happily settled playing with a set of knucklebones, Ayla took stock of her supplies and started checking on everyone who'd been injured. 

It was well past noon when the search party returned. Many members of the cave ran to meet them, and Ayla was no exception. She slowed her steps when she noticed his face. They hadn't returned with good news.  
Wordlessly, Jondalar took her in his arms and held her close. He didn't speak for a few moments, and Ayla decided to start.  
"What did you find?"  
She jumped when a wailing from beside her broke out and she saw Karpin hug a woman about his age close to him. More than a few people were crying and Ayla knew without him saying so what fate had awaited the young family.  
Ayla pulled Jondalar towards their fire and once he was settled, made him a cup of calming tea. He wearily acknowledged those who greeted him, and it wasn't until he lifted his cup to drink that he realized Ranec was holding a sleeping Tholiza.   
Ayla noticed where is gaze fell and she saw the look of anger before it disappeared, hidden, as quickly as it had come. Looking at Ranec, he was oblivious to Jondalar's mood as he continued to stare at the little bundle in his arms. Though she was fast asleep, her small fingers were wrapped tightly around his one. He could have stayed like that forever, just admiring her. She looked so much like her mother.  
Ayla dipped out some of the soup for Jondalar, and he finally pulled his eyes away enough to focus on the cup before the hot contents ended up in his lap.  
"Why don't you get some rest? I'm sure you haven't bothered to sleep since yesterday morning. I'll wake you if anything happens." Ayla offered, and sighed inwardly when Jondalar shook his head.  
"I can't do that. Karpin is organizing a counter attack and he'll need every able bodied man." He paused, trying to figure the best way to tell Ayla. He knew how opposed to violence she was. Finally he decided to outright say it. "I promised him he could count on me."  
Ayla looked hard at him, her anger barely contained. "How could you?"  
Jondalar bristled at her tone. It didn't help that he could feel the carver's eyes on him and he wasn't really in the mood to defend his actions.  
"You didn't see what I saw. What they did to Toban and Shakornot to mention Tippin." Jondalar couldn't get the rest of his words out as the mental picture became fresh once again.  
"We owe them that much! It was inhuman!"  
"So you want to make other families suffer? Will that bring them back from the spirit world? No, Jondalar, it wont. We need to talk with them, find out why they're doing these things."  
Jondalar snorted. "Woman open your eyes! Not everyone is good in their hearts. You of all people should have learned that by now." He regretted the words as soon as they'd left his mouth. Ayla seemed to turn into herself as she flinched. He knew she blamed herself for them being banished from the Zelandoni and he couldn't believe how insensitive he'd just been.  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He whispered as he moved beside her and took her into his arms. "It's just, I don't think I'll ever forget what wehow we found them. They hadn't just been killed Ayla, they were mutilated. Shakor was.forced before they killed her, and Tippin." Jondalar couldn't finish, and they were both unaware that Karpin had approached the fire until he spoke.  
"We found him hanging from a tree! The murduring bastards! He was only a baby emotions got the better of him as Utnab and Sarcab tried to offer him comfort. Ever since stumbling upon the gruesome scene, they feared to leave him alone. He was full of rage, and if he had to kill each person responsible for this crime he would do it with his bare hands.  
Ayla paled as a tear ran down her cheek. She had met the family, and even swapped cooking recipes with Shakor. Their baby wasn't even a few moons old, who would do such a thing?  
"We're leaving in the morning to attack the Willow camp of the Altamians. They're the closest, and the tracks were leading in that direction. Are you with us?" Karpin asked Jondalar once again.  
"Wait!" Alya jumped up. "You can't do this. You don't know for sure if it was them. We should talk with them before anything rash happens."  
"You don't think what happened to Toban was rash?! The time for talking is past! I won't rest until every last one of those murduring bastards are in the underworld!"  
Ayla placed her hand on his arm but he jerked away. By this time the entire camp had become aware of the exchange and we're waiting to see what would happen next.   
"I'm going too." Ranec stated firmly as he struggled to stand. His face was set, and though Ayla tried to still him, he brushed her off.  
Karpin kneeled beside him. "Ranec, I know you want to go, but you aren't well enough. You would slow us down, and could even fall prey yourself. It's best you stay here. After all, I don't know how this will turn out, and in case.....in case something doesn't go as planned, we'll need men here to protect who's left."  
Ranec knew Karpin was right. He didn't want to stay behind while his people, his family went to war. It was his responsibility to protect the cave. Karpin assumed the conversation was over and stood, glaring at Ayla.  
"We leave before dawn. Everyone's gathering at my hearth to form a plan." Karpin spoke directly to Jondalar, who nodded his support.  
Once the man was gone, he turned to Ayla to see her looking at him furiously. "This isn't up for discussion." Jondalar angrily grabbed his spear thrower as he left to join Karpin at his hearth.  
Ayla looked at the others desperately. Most had gone back to their own hearths and she focused on Ranec. With her disappointment barely contained, she walked over to him, picked up Tholiza and walked into the woods.

I

~~~~~~~~~~~~` 

Ayla quietly pulled the furs back and covered Jondalar up. He didn't stir as she donned her leggings and tunic, and then footcoverings. They had barely spoken since he returned from Karpin's fire, and she couldn't understand why everyone was so quick to succumb to violence. She stirred the embers of the small fire as she looked about at the posts. There was one in each direction, and Ayla knew they'd be able to warn everyone if danger approached.  
Something inside her kept telling her this was wrong. It *screamed* at her. She startled a little to see Gandar awake and looking at her. The old woman sat up slowly, time had caught up with her long ago.  
"I'm sorry if I woke you." Alya whispered.  
Gandar shook her head. "Nonsense child. You didn't wake me, the Mother did. She's shown me through a vision what you are to do." Gandar eyed Ayla critically. When the blond woman ducked her head she nodded. "And so do you."  
When Ayla looked up, there were tears in her eyes. "What about Tholiza? Who's going to feed her?" She hoarsely whispered.  
"Mabkar can nurse her along with her own child. Don't worry. The Mother wouldn't send you off and then neglect your own." When Ayla glanced at Jondalar, Gandar shook her head. "Don't worry about him either. Sometimes men need a little push to come to their senses. He'll come around."  
Knowing time was of the essence, Ayla quickly packed a bag and Gandar handed her a bag of traveling food.   
Ayla couldn't help but hug the older woman, and Gandar patted her on the back trying to comfort the shaking.  
"You have a destiny to follow. One that will not be forgotten for generations to come."  
Ayla pulled back and kissed Tholiza one last time before picking up her spear thrower and making sure she had enough stones. Walking quietly to the horses, she climbed on Whinney's back and started out. When she realized the cats and wolf were following her, she motioned for them to stay and picked up the pace.  
Watching her disappear into the woods, Wolf whined and Gandar sent a prayer to the Mother. She knew from her vision she'd never see Ayla again.

It wasn't until Tholiza fussed that Jondalar started to groggily wake up. He felt her being picked up and smiled. Ayla never let him get up with her, wanting to let him sleep.  
Tholiza's cries grew farther away, and he frowned, puzzled. Opening his eyes, the only one he still saw at the fire was Ranec, and he was looking at Jondalar with an expression he'd never seen before. Most of the people were just waking, and they were going to move back into the cave today.  
He, Karpin, and the others who'd volunteered, were going to be leaving shortly for the Altamians. Sitting up, Jondalar stretched and was going to relieve himself when he realized Ranec was still looking at him. Ranec had hardly made direct eye contact with him since they'd arrived.  
"What?" Jondalar asked a little annoyed.  
"You're so stupid. You let your pride take away the most precious thing in your life." Ranec's voice dripped with venom.  
Jondalar clenched his fists and stood over the carver, "You'd better explain yourself, and soon." His voice was low, but the threat was clearly evident.  
"Look around. She's not here. Neither is her pack."  
Jondalar spun around and searched the camp. When he realized her pack was indeed gone, along with Whinney his anger turned to terrorizing fear. He spun back around to Ranec, grabbing him by his tunic. Ranic's injuries screamed at him, but he held his tongue.  
"Why did you let her go? Why didn't you wake me!" He demanded loudly. Ranec put his hands over Jondalar's, trying to pull them off. Karpin and a few others rushed over. What Jondalar didn't know, was that Ranec had only awoke a few moments ago himself. Every morning his eyes sought out Ayla first thing, despite himself. He was so aware of her that he knew immediately she was gone.  
"Jondalar! What are you doing? Let go of him!"  
Jondalar stared at Ranec another minute before jerking him back down onto the furs. Nadkar rushed over to him to make sure he was all right as Jondalar turned towards Karpin.  
"She's gone after the Altamians."  
"Who did?" Karpin asked puzzled.  
"Ayla. She probably left during the night. She's gone to try and 'talk' to them, I'm sure. I've got to stop her." Jondalar realized he was still standing there and quickly started stuffing belongings into his pack.  
Gandar quietly approached. "Tholiza will be taken care of until you return. Mabkar is nursing her."  
Jondalar stood as he picked up his pack and spear thrower. "Thank you."  
"Wait, we'll go with you. We're almost ready to leave." Karpin motioned towards a man on his right and he quickly ran off to finish preparations.  
"No. I have to take Racer. She's on Whinney and we'll lose too much time if we all go on foot."  
Karpin didn't like the idea, but knew Jondalar was right. Giving a decisive nod, he put his hand on Jondalar's arm. "Let me give you a map to the Altamian's camp. May Artmis go with you." 

~~~~~~~~ 

Ayla had traveled four days without seeing anyone. She had followed their tracks, lost them a few times, and it took over half a day to find the trail once. Sighing, she slid off Whinney's back and scanned the surrounding area. She knew there were only five people in the raid on the camp and she'd found where they'd camped each night. With Whinney, she couldn't understand why she hadn't come across them yet?  
The dense forest had opened up into briary passages, and a few times Ayla had to travel out of her way so Whinney wouldn't suffer. It was hard for a horse who was carrying a burden to watch her footing.  
Ayla took a sip of the little precious water she had left. She had left the river two days ago and wasn't expecting to be gone from a water source this long. Perhaps she should just turn back?  
Deciding to climb the small outcropping of rocks to her left, Ayla gave Whinney one last pat and the horse nickered before wandering a little ways to forage.  
It only took Ayla a little bit of effort to climb to the top and Ayla sat, looking out at the terrain. She didn't see anything from this angle that would suggest the group had traveled on. Maybe she had lost their trail again? Whoever it was, was purposely hiding it.   
Ayla massaged her tender breasts. Since leaving, she'd been expressing her milk so it wouldn't dry up. She wanted to still be able to nurse Tholiza when she returned. Deciding to take a closer look, Ayla made her way down the other side of the rock face. As she was about to take a last step to the ground, she heard a noise off to her right. Before she could turn and reach for her sling, her head was slammed into the cold stone and she fell limply to the ground.

Jondalar stooped to examine the trail. He could tell Whinney's hoof prints from just about any other horse. Knowing it was at least a day maybe two old he sighed, frustrated. He should have caught up with her by now!  
Standing, Jondalar surveyed the area as Midnight, Thunder and Wolf rested nearby. Normally he would break and make camp, but not knowing where Ayla was, along with the knowledge that there were hostile people in the area, spurred him on. Mounting Racer, he called to the rest of his traveling companions before heading out. 

He hadn't been traveling an hour when Racer became skittish and picked up the pace. Wolf also seemed to sense something and ran ahead of the group, followed closely by the cats. Jondalar nudged Racer to a faster trot and let out a relieved breath when Whinney came into view near the base of a rock outcrop. The mare nickered in reply and trotted towards Racer.  
"There you are girl! Where's Ayla?" Jondalar looked around the area and noticed that Ayla's pack was laying nearby. Deciding to surprise her, Jondalar decided to make camp.  
Wolf's fur stood on end and he let out a low growl, causing Jondalar to stop what he was doing. Looking around, he reached for his spear thrower. "What is it Wolf?"  
Wolf glanced at him, whined, and licked his snout before looking back at the rock face. The tension pouring from the wolf spilled into Jondalar. He carefully climbed the rocks hoping to get a better view of what was bothering the wolf. He hoped whatever it was, wasn't near Ayla. He had assumed she decided to hunt for some fresh meat before making camp.  
Reaching the top, he eased himself forward until he could see the other side. There were no wild animals, no signs of anything. Climbing down the other side, he could tell that someone had been there recently. The grass had been trampled, and something was being dragged. He was almost at the bottom when he reached an area that was stained red with blood. His heart began to pound faster as he took a more careful look of the area.  
Jondalar reached down to pick up a piece of leather, and as he studied it, realization dawned. It was Ayla's amulet! She never took it off, most of the time not even when she bathed. He looked at the area with renewed interest.  
Something had happened to the woman he loved. The tracks weren't that old, and with the horses, he shouldn't have any problem coming upon them. Surprisingly enough, though he felt fear, it didn't consume him. Another emotion was quickly engulfing him.  
Jondalar quickly picked up the scattered items that had come from Ayla's amulet and retraced his steps. He'd have to take the horses around the rocks, but he knew which direction they were heading in. He would find who was responsible for this and anger flashed from his eyes as he thought, 'not even Doni would be able to help them when he did.'

Ayla heard voices around her and tried to open her eyes. Her head was pounding and she couldn't fathom why she felt so bad. When she tried to sit up, she realized her hands were tied together. She lifted them to her head and touched something sticky.  
Where was she? She managed to open her one eye, but her other was swollen shut. Licking her lips, she realized she was thirsty and tried to get someone's attention. There were a few men nearby and she tried to speak. When no sound came out, she cleared her throat and tried again.  
One of the men glanced in her direction, but turned back to the others he was talking with. Ayla rolled on her side and sat up. Her arms were cut up badly, and she could tell her back wasn't much better.  
She couldn't seem to remember anything. What had she done to make these people punish her so? Certainly it must have been severe. Her breasts hurt and she looked down to see her tunic soiled. Wet spots were leaking through the leather. Puzzled, she reached up and touched one. The ache in her breast reverberated throughout her and she leaked some more.  
Apparently her actions caught the attention of those nearby and a few men came over. One roughly yanked her by the back of her hair and ripped her tunic open. She tried to push his hands away, but he slapped her in the face momentarily dazing her.  
The man spoke harshly to the others and one of the men ran off. Ayla couldn't see anything for a moment, then her sight slowly returned. She saw a woman holding a bundle close to her, grief etched on her face. The man spoke to the woman who hesitated before approaching Ayla.  
She unwrapped the bundle and held the baby to Ayla's breast. Ayla pulled her arms up to hold the child, somehow knowing that it was near death. She could see tiny ribs protruding from it's skin, and though it was weak, it had latched onto her breast. Ayla looked up at the woman who sighed in relief. After a few moments, the woman switched the baby to Ayla's other side and Ayla didn't know what to think.   
Was this baby hers? If so, who was the woman? Nothing seemed familiar to her, and she desperately hoped for some answers. Once the baby had finished, the woman took the child and cradled it to her as she stood and left Ayla alone again.  
"Wait! Please don't go. What have I done?" Ayla called after her, but she didn't turn around.  
Her head kept pounding and she wished she had something, anything to drink. Looking around, she realized that she was in the middle of some kind of camp. There was a cave to her left and some tents were set up almost in a circle. Ayla was sitting in the middle, in the hot sun. Her hands and feet were tied together, and even if she would have been able to untie herself, where would she go? She was being watched by just about everyone. Something smelled familiar to her, but she couldn't find a memory for it. It was like like there was salt on the air?  
Her head was pounding worse, and no one would acknowledge her though she tried talking to them more than once. Laying down on the ground, she let the darkness take her again.  


~~~~~ 

Ayla felt herself being lifted by her arms as she was dragged across the ground. She managed to open her eyes enough to see it was now dusk. The ground was still warm though, so she knew it couldn't have been too long since she slept.   
The two men placed her on a fur that was on the ground inside one of the tents. The woman who'd brought the baby to her earlier was there, and once the men left, she hurried over to Ayla.  
Turning her over, the woman cradled Ayla's head in her lap as she took the stomach of a bore and held it to Ayla's lips. Once Ayla realized it was water, she took big gulps trying to quench her thirst. She passively laid there while the woman cleaned her wounds and made her a plate of food. Looking out of the tent, Ayla could see a guard posted.   
She wished that her hands would be untied, but the woman didn't show any inclination of doing so. Her wrists and ankles were being rubbed raw, and Ayla looked down at her bare feet. There were brush burns on the tops of them that traveled up her legs. The woman came over with the baby again and Ayla took it from her, placing it to her breast. She somehow knew that's what she was supposed to do. Chaos ran rampant in her mind. Some things she just *knew*, but others she shook her head trying to sort everything out.  
The woman sat in front of her, staring at the nursing baby intently. Ayla realized that the infant was a boy and she started to rock back and forth, humming a monotone tune. She didn't know why she did it, but somehow if felt right.  
|Ayla decided to try and speak to the woman again. "Is this my son?"  
The woman looked at her puzzled, and Ayla motioned to the child. "What's his name?"  
The woman placed a hand on the baby and spoke. "Jamin"  
Ayla frowned. Was that his name? If so, why couldn't she remember it? Then woman then caught her attention and pointed to herself. "Jasepa"  
the Woman repeated her name, then tapped Ayla. She knew she wanted to know her name and Ayla tried desperately to fight the fog in her mind.  
Looking at the woman with tears in her eyes, she whispered. "I don't know." 

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Gandar hunkered over as a coughing fit overtook her. It had come on suddenly, and Nadkar had tried to give the old woman medicine for it, but Gandar waved her away. "Nothing you can give me will help child." She'd say.  
Ranec managed to halfway sit up and held a cup of water out to her. Gandar smiled at him and took the cup. "you're recovering very well." She said as she drank the liquid and came over to him. She checked his injuries and was pleased to find his leg healing. She didn't think he'd have to lose it now.  
Sitting back on her haunches, Gandar looked about the cave to make sure they were alone.   
"I have many things I want to tell you Ranec. I don't have much time left on this earth. The Mother calls me, and I must go."  
Ranec started to protest, but she held up a hand to stop him. "I've lived a long life, and it's my time. I want to see my daughter again, your mother. You have much happiness ahead of you Ranec. There will be trials, but our line *will* continue. You must have faith in yourself, and in your love. Don't turn your back on it out of fear when it appears to you. Not everyone gets a second chance at love."  
Rance was puzzled at her words, but kept quiet. It was apparent she was stressed and he didn't want to agitate her. Especially with her not feeling well.   
"The moon just reached it's first turn. When it's full, you must take Tholiza to Ayla. Do you understand?"  
"Take her where? How?"  
Gandar reached for his hand. "The Mother will show you. It's important that you reach her."  
Ranec frowned as he looked at his leg. "How will I get there? I can't even walk yet."  
Gandar smiled at him. He always was an impatient one. "You won't have to go far. But this is something you must do. There is much that is going to happen between our people and the Altamians. The Mother has shown me that you will help to lead our people into a new time. Be ready for it when that happens."  
Gandar then went on to tell him all the things he'd need to know. Though Ranec didn't understand most of it, he listened out of love, and when Gandar became too tired to talk, he made sure she was covered well in her furs. 

~~~~~~~~ 

Ayla felt herself being shook awake and looked about the tent. It was the middle of the night, and the woman was leaning over her, holding the baby. Ayla sat up and tried to flex her wrists. They were starting to become numb, and she bowed her arms so the woman could give her the baby. Ayla nursed him and neither spoke in the quiet darkness. Once Jamin had finished, Jasepa took him back and went back to her sleeping place. Ayla noticed how it was raised off the ground by wooden sticks, furs piled on top. Ayla tried to lay back but the cuts stung her, and she had to turn on her side. She watched the two until they fell asleep again, and then quietly got up to half crawl, half shuffle to the entrance. Moving the flap she glanced about the area. The cave was directly in front of her and the 'guard' she noticed, was barely more than a boy.  
Something in her gut told her that she was in danger, but she didn't know from what? So far, no one had told her why she was tied up, and she couldn't understand a word they were saying. If these were her people why couldn't she understand? But if they weren't, then who were her people? Who was she? Tears came unbidden with the frustration she was feeling, and Ayla went back to the fur she was given to sleep on. She hoped that in the morning things would become clearer.

Jondalar picked up the crushed grass in his hand, tightening his fist around it until his knuckles turned white. He knew he was close. He could feel it. The anger he'd felt initially welled in him with each new clue he discovered. Last evening he found one of Ayla's footcoverings, and this morning the other. He could tell she was still being dragged, and knew they must have come off. Whoever had her didn't even care!  
Another thought crept into his mind. If she was being dragged, why? Was she unconscious? Was she injured and couldn't walk? And why did they take her?   
Jondalar knew the animals needed a break, but he wanted to keep moving. Torn between what to do, he checked over the horses. Both had their heads hanging low, and he knew they were probably suffering more than he. They hadn't seen water in days, and he had ridden them hard.  
Jondalar reluctantly removed the packs from the animals and set up the bare necessities of a camp. 

~~~~~~~~ 

Ayla jumped awake from the shrieking wail beside her. She sat bolt upright as others rushed into the tent. Jasepa was clutching Jamin to her as she rocked back and forth, and Ayla somehow knew that was anguish only one who's lost a child could feel.  
Not knowing why, Ayla crawled over to her and tried to see the child, hoping to at least try and help, but she was knocked to the ground by the man that had first ripped her tunic open. She glared at him only to be kicked in the side as a response, then someone dragged her back over to her fur. She watched helplessly as the camp joined in the sorrow and her own eyes filled with tears. The man held Jasepa close as they shared their grief, and after what seemed like an eternity, a subdued quiet filled grief filled the air.  
A few woman managed to get Jasepa to give them the baby, and she cried fresh as he was taken from her arms.  
During this time, Ayla had more of a chance to study the man with her, and she surmised that he was these people's leader. She didn't know how she knew, but she just did. Despite the harsh way he'd treated her, she sensed it really wasn't his nature. He seemed like he didn't have any other choice.  
He looked over at Ayla and spoke harshly. Jasepa gasped and placed her hand on his arm, pleading with him.  
Ayla didn't understand the words, but she knew with the way he was looking at her, and the woman's reaction, it didn't bode well. He bellowed and a few people came into the tent. The leader then motioned towards Ayla as he spoke causing everyone to look at her.  
They seemed reluctant to do whatever it was he'd told them to do, but when he yelled, they quickly approached Ayla and started tearing at her clothes.  
She screamed as she tried to stop them, but it was no use. With sharp knives, they made quick work of the leather and soon she was naked.   
Her head was pounding again, and Ayla closed her eyes, trying to shut the people out. When she felt something cold being placed on her breasts and stomach, she opened them to see two women painting black spirals around her breasts and abdomen. There was a man with them holding a spear to her throat, and she knew better than to move.  
Once that was done, everyone left her, including Jasepa. She could tell from the sound of drums and music that something important was going on, and she knew all she could do was wait.


	3. A Moment of Eternity last part

It was almost dusk when Ayla was dragged out of the tent. She hadn't been given anything to eat or drink since Jasepa gave her food yesterday, and her stomach protested loudly.   
Ayla shivered in the cooling night air, and tried to get her feet under her to walk. The men who were taking her didn't seem to notice as they took her into the cave she'd seen. At first she didn't really notice anything, except the pain from being dragged across the ground. Once they'd stopped near the back of the cave though, she realized that it was bright inside. The walls were painted with magnificent pictures of animals. She knew she should know the names of them, but for the life of her she couldn't remember. She hardly remembered anything!  
She was laid across a cold slab of stone, and when she noticed her legs and arms being tied down with leather thongs, she tried to struggle.  
"Why are you doing this?" she demanded as she struggled. It was no use. Soon she was secured and a man dressed with the preserved carcass of a blackcat? She thought, stood in front of her. He waved his arms about, and Ayla then noticed his gaze centered above her. Looking up through her good eye, she realized in the stone above her was carved a face. It's eyes were large and angry looking, it's mouth open in a scowl.  
"Please, whatever I've done, don't do this! I beg you!" Ayla pleaded to no avail. When the man produced an ivory knife and held it above her stomach, she screamed.

Jondalar had reached the camp and decided to approach on horseback with all the animals. He knew Ayla wouldn't like it if he'd used people's fear against them, but he needed every advantage he could get.  
Spear thrower at the ready, he approached the camp at a steady pace. Those that had been outside stared in awe, some running into the nearby trees. A few hunters tried to act brave and blocked his path, and Jondalar glared down at them. He was normally taller than most men, and with the added height of sitting on Racer's back, he was formidable.   
Wolf had picked up on Ayla's scent, and his hairs stood at end as he let out a low, menacing growl. Midnight and Thunder, who normally were docile with their human upbringing, sensed the mood of the rest of their den, and paced nervously. Thunder lived up to his name by letting out quite a few hair raising growls. They were just like the type he used when he played with the Poterian children, but there was nothing playful about it.  
"Where's Ayla?" He asked in Poterian.  
No one spoke and Jondalar stared each of them down, one by one. "I'll only ask one last time. Where's my mate." His voice was low, deadly, and he was frustrated enough to want to send a spear into the nearest one to prove his point.  
Finally, a woman around his age stepped forward. Her lower lip trembled and she bowed her head, as if she were speaking to a spirit.  
"The woman with the blond hair?"  
Jondalar nodded excitedly. "You know of her? Where is she?"  
Jasepa started shaking, knowing their judgment had come. "She was brought here a few days ago. I....I had lost my milk and my mate....she nursed him." Her face was anguished, and Jondalar knew what caused her pain. "It had been too long. There was no one else that could feed him when I couldn't....he died this morning."  
Jondalar truly felt her sorrow and he slid off his horse. Approaching her, he still kept an eye on the others. "I'm sorry for your loss. May the Mother protect him until you can be together again."  
"Thank you." Jasepa took a deep breath and glanced at her mate.  
"No! Don't say anything more." He stepped forward, glaring at Jondalar. "I'm Eflabin, leader of Willow Camp of the Altamians. You are not welcome here. Leave now."  
Jondalar sized him up before he'd even finished speaking. He saw how everyone was eying the animals, and thought it odd that no one had questioned him about them. "I have no intention of staying. As soon as I have Ayla, we'll be on our way."  
Eflabin fidgeted and looked torn. "You are too late. Our holy man has chosen her for a sacrifice to Alba. Our camp has suffered much over the past few years, and we must keep the Mother happy."  
Jondalar couldn't believe what he was hearing. Rage and disbelief coursed though him as he aimed his spear thrower directly against the man's throat. A few men rushed forward to stop him, but Wolf quickly changed their mind. By this time, both cats were really agitated, and Racer nickered loudly before rearing on his hind legs. Both he and Whinney trotted back into the trees to get away from the commotion.  
Jondalar heard a scream coming from the cave and pulled his fist back, landing it square on the leader's jaw. Running towards the cave, none dared to opposed him. 

  
Just as the knife plunged into Ayla's stomach, the man was knocked over with a powerful force. Ayla kept screaming, unaware of the scene that was playing out in front of her. Jondalar landed hard on the man, winding himself temporarily.  
"NOOO!" He turned the holy man over and started to pound his fist into the man's face over and over. He wasn't aware that he was screaming, and only stopped when he was too exhausted to continue. He was unaware that a few people had gathered at the entrance of the cave, and it was the cats that were keeping them at bay. Wolf had placed his paws on the stone and was licking Ayla's face, whining.

Jondalar turned towards Ayla and momentarily froze, head down. As the adrenaline wore off, he knew this was one of the worst offenses he could have done against the Mother. When Ayla didn't say anything to him immediately, he slowly lifted his head, his eyes finally focusing on the knife protruding from her stomach.  
"Ayla! Oh Doni, No!" He cried out as he pulled out his knife and cut her loose from the stone slab. "Ayla don't die! Please don't die!" He didn't know if he should pull the knife out or not, and moved to her face. "What should I do Ayla? Please live!"  
She stared at him blankly, clearly in shock.   
Jondalar looked around and noticed the people standing at the entrance to the cave. He spied the woman who'd helped him earlier. "You, come here!" He commanded, not realizing the tone in his voice.  
She eyed the cats warily, and Jondalar impatiently called them to his side. She hurried forward until she was within a few feet of him. Jasepa glanced down at the holy man, then back to the stranger. If he was capable of this kind of violence, what more would he do?  
"Please, you must help her. Do you have a healer?" Jondalar asked.  
"He's our healer." Jasepa quietly stated as she nodded towards the downed man.  
"HIM?! He's a butcher! How dare he, how dare any of you take anothers life? That's for the Mother to decide who lives and who dies."  
Eflabin pushed his way past the crowd at the entrance into the cave. It only took him a moment to realize the situation and he rubbed his jaw as he approached Jondalar.  
"You've just sealed our doom. The Mother will curse us all now."  
Jondalar took a step towards him, before willing himself to stop. "If you don't help her, now, the Mother will be the last thing you'll have to worry about." He threatened.  
Eflabin eyed Ayla, noted her labored breathing, and nodded at Jasepa. "We will help you. For now."  
Jasepa moved forward to Ayla and examined the wound, then Ayla's face. "I....I only have a limited amount of knowledge. I don't believe the knife hit any major parts...." She was clearly flustered. All eyes were focused on her and she was under the intense scrutiny from the stranger, as well as the animals he'd brought with him. Jondalar placed a hand on her arm. "Just do your best. Please."   
Jasepa took a deep breath and nodded. "I'll need a fire and some furs. Kappala, bring my medicines as well as the rabbit skins I've saved. They're in the large basket near the back of my hearth."  
The woman nodded and headed off, and Jasepa looked at Jondalar as they waited. Finally taking a deep breath, she whispered quietly. "I will try my best. She tried to save my son, but it was too late. He'd gone almost a half moon without eating. She didn't speak our language and had been treated badly, but she still held him to her breast. For that, I'll always be grateful."  
Jondalar nodded and frowned. Ayla had picked up the language better than he had. Why didn't she know it? Something wasn't right about the woman's explanation, but now was not the time to ask questions. Kappala reappeared with the items, and they soon had a fire going. Jondalar supported Ayla as little as possible as they placed a fur under her. For now, they decided to take the knife out here, then move her to a warmer place.  
Jondalar stroked Ayla's hair and kissed her forehead as Jasepa worked. Luckily, or not, Jondalar couldn't decide which, Ayla had passed out beforehand. Silently he promised the Mother everything he had, and everything he'd ever have, if She brought Ayla back to him.

Jondalar dipped a rabbit skin in cool water and wiped Ayla's forehead. Jasepa had done all she could for Ayla, and even he had contributed. He was surprised at how he'd picked up things from Ayla, just by watching her all this time. When Jondalar told Jasepa about Ayla's technique of sewing the skin closed, she seemed shocked, but tried it. Jondalar had given her one of Ayla's sewing points to use, and together they managed to do a half decent job. At least he'd hoped so.  
He also made the poultice that he'd seen Ayla make many times to draw the heat from the skin, and placed it on her new stitches. A cool cup of willow bark tea was sitting nearby, and all any of them could do was wait.  
They had moved Ayla into one of the tents outside of the cave, and both Whinney and Racer stayed close to the tent. Wolf made a point of laying in the doorway, both keeping an eye on the large members of his pack, and making sure no one would hurt Ayla. Midnight and Thunder were anxious to explore, but the training Ayla had instilled in them had kept them in check for now.  
Jondalar was brought a plate of food, but the only one who stayed with him was Jasepa. The rest of the cave didn't know what to make of the strangers in their midst, and were quite fearful of the tall blond man.  
Their holy man would live, Jondalar was told, but his face had suffered extensive damage. After Jasepa had finished with Ayla, she gave what comfort she could to him. Jondalar had to bite his tongue to keep from lashing out. Why did that man deserve to have aid?   
Jasepa sat down on her furs and picked up a small carrying cloak. She ran her hands over it quite a few times before holding it to her breast and rocking back and forth. She finally held it to her nose and inhaled deeply. Her actions didn't go unnoticed by Jondalar, and he felt remorse for the woman. He'd learned her son had died that morning, and she hadn't even had time to mourn him properly. Her mate, Eflabin, who was also the leader of these people, hadn't come to her even once that he knew of to comfort her. What kind of a man was he anyway?  
"How old was he?" Jondalar quietly asked.  
Jasepa didn't look at him, or stop her rocking. "Only two moons." She finally stole a glance at the blond man, and knew the question he didn't ask.  
"My milk never came in full, it had been a struggle to nurse him from the beginning. I had hoped that as he nursed more......" Her voice choked and she had to clear her throat. "No one else was nursing little ones, and I....all I could do was hold him, and rock him.....and watch him die."  
Jondalar looked down at his hands, that were holding Ayla's right hand. There were so many questions that he wanted to ask, but where to start? "Why do your people...kill others?" He didn't know the Arterian word for sacrifice, and hoped his meaning was clear.  
Jasepa carefully folded the wrap and came over to Ayla. She checked her temperature as she thought of her answer. "We used to not. Not until recent that is. After the drought and the Mother started to bless the land again, most of our hunters had already died. Food was so scarce they took extra risks. We finally started to build our reserves and things were looking up for us. Then the sickness came. We didn't really have anyone who was skilled in healing, our spirit leader was killed in a hunt.  
One day a man walked into our camp. He spoke a different language, one I've never heard before, but learned our way to speak. Even after, he never told anyone where he was from. He did things that none of us had ever seen. He was a very powerful holy man. Still, we weren't sure about accepting him into our cave, especially in such a revered position. It had always been a woman who held that. After all, woman are closer to the Mother."  
Jondalar nodded in agreement, and listened intently.  
"Anyway, during a ceremony to decide whether or not to accept him, he did something...he breathed fire! No one dared to oppose him when the vote came. He promised us with his guidance that Willow Camp would prosper once again. When that didn't happen, he told us it was because we didn't believe in the Mother enough. That we had to make 'sacrifices' to her.  
At first it was just things. Like our finest blades or furs, the choice parts of a kill. Then he demand more. It started with small animals, then....."  
"Then what?" Despite himself, Jondalar didn't want her to stop. He *needed* to understand how this came about.  
"We had visitors. It was two young men on a journey. They sounded like her." Jasepa nodded to Ayla.  
"What do you mean, like her?"  
"I never learned the language, and those who did have been called back to the Mother. From the first though, they challenged the holy man, and called him a fraud. The camp started to become divided and the holy man said it was the Mother's will that they die." Jasepa shuddered at the memory.  
"Eflabin, my mate, he wanted no part of it. He refused to kill them and that enraged him. He breathed fire again, and said if they didn't die, then two of us would. That's...that was the first time.  
After that, things did seem to get better for a little while. There were no more deaths, and we were starting to grow. There always seemed to be a reason for the holy man to sacrifice though. Then the wars started again. He told us that the Mother wanted us to have this land, and that we had to make the Poterians leave. No one wanted to start the wars, but we feared him. When Ayla was brought here he said she had to be given to the Mother. Eflabin refused. He knew she was nursing and told the holy man that she wouldn't die. That's when she nursed Jamin.  
When...when Jamin died, the holy man told Eflabin that it was because he'd angered the Mother with refusing the sacrifice, but I knew better. I watched my son die slowly everyday. He would have died regardless. Eflabin lost it. He agreed to go through with the sacrifice, despite that fact that I'd begged him not to."  
Jondalar sat back, stunned. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. 

Ayla let out a moan and both of their attention turned. Jondalar leaned over her. "Ayla, Ayla can you hear me? Please wake up." He was so nervous, he'd lapsed into Zelandoni.  
Ayla licked her lips and slowly opened her eyes. Her body felt heavy, and her head was spinning. "Water."   
Jondalar smiled and let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. "She wants water."  
He helped to support her head while Jasepa fed her the cool willow bark tea. Ayla drank it, not knowing the difference, and Jondalar replaced her head on the furs. He couldn't help but smile down at her, though there were tears in his eyes.  
"I thought I'd lost you. Oh Doni, please don't scare me like that again!" He begged.  
Ayla looked up into the concerned blue eyes, and felt herself relax. Something was telling her that she was safe with this man. She felt herself drifting into sleep again, but had to ask. After all, he was the only one who seemed to understand her, and the only one she could understand.  
"Who....who are you?"

Jondalar was taken aback. He didn't know what to think or feel.   
"What's wrong?" Jasepa asked, not understanding what Ayla had said.  
"She....she didn't recognize me." Jondalar asked, dazed.  
"I'm sure it's just the medicine. Once it wears off she'll remember." Jasepa tried to reassure him.  
"I hope you're right."  
A commotion started outside and Wolf let out a yip before leaving the tent.   
"I'll stay with her."   
Jondalar smiled his thanks then picked up his spear thrower before heading out.   
It was dark now, and there were two groups of people facing each other. Karpin had arrived.  
Each group had their spears at the ready and Jondalar stepped forward. "Karpin, I'm glad you've arrived. Ayla's been hurt. There *holy man*" Jondalar spat the word out with as much venom as he could, tried to kill her. He's also the one responsible for making these people set fire to your camp."  
"Karpin took his eyes off the others long enough to glare at Jondalar. "How do you know that?"  
"Jasepa told me. It's a long story. Please, put down your weapons." Jondalar looked directly at Eflabin. "There will be no blood shed tonight."  
Neither man wanted to back down, but finally Eflabin nodded his head and signaled his people to drop their weapons.  
"We've done much that needs to be atoned for." Eflabin steeled himself and took a step towards Karpin. "I'm Eflabin, leader of the Willow Camp of the Altamians. You are welcome here."  
Karpin was torn between the raging anger coursing through him and wanting to believe what Jondalar had said. They had traveled far and fast the last few days, and he knew his men needed a rest. "In the name of the Mother, we accept your welcome."  
Jondalar let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. Some of the tension he'd been feeling left him, and his shoulders sagged.  
Eflabin made arrangements for the men to share a tent and Jondalar went back to Ayla. Karpin promised him he'd come to see her as soon as he was sure that no hot heads from either side would cause any problems. Being leader meant sometimes having to restrain one's actions for the good of all, and Karpin knew that tonight was going to be one of his toughest tests.  
Jondalar went back into the tent and sat down beside Ayla. Pulling his tunic over his head, he decided to keep his pants on in case something happened between the two camps. After contemplating on whether to keep his foot coverings on, Jondalar decided to remove them. Laying down beside Ayla, he scooted close to her and wrapped his arms around her, letting her head rest on his shoulder. Her body was still marked by the dark circles around her breasts and abdomen, and he decided to give her a bath when morning came.  
The past few days without sleep had finally caught up with him, and since Ayla was if not completely safe, at least safe with him, he allowed himself to relax. It was only a matter of moments before he too, was fast asleep.

~~~~~~~~ 

Alya woke slowly to the sensations of warmth. Opening her eyes, she focused on the blond haired man. He was.....washing her...the look on his face one of worry. She noticed that for as large as he was, his hands were gentle, loving, and she fervently wished she knew who he was. Something inside her told her that she was *supposed* to know.  
"Hello." Ayla quietly greeted and his eyes snapped to her face. She watched as his concern was replaced with a huge smile.  
"You're awake. Thank Doni. I was so worried Ayla. Why did you run off like that? When I found Whinney and your pack....." Jondalar's words choked in his throat and he looked down, trying to control his emotions.  
Ayla was more confused now than ever. What was he talking about? She opened her mouth to ask him, but he cut her off.  
"No matter. You're safe now. How are you feeling? Are you hungry?"  
Ayla nodded and Jondalar quickly went to the fire, dipping out a cup of broth for her. "It's a little hot, but it should cool down in a few minutes. Here," he reached for another cup. "I made you some tea. I know it isn't as good as yours but...."  
His words trailed off as he handed her the cup, then helped her sit in a semi upright position, propping furs behind her.  
Ayla sipped the warm liquid slowly as she studied the man without trying to seem too obvious about it. Finally, she had to know, and took a deep breath.  
"Do....do I know you?" She all but whispered and inwardly cringed when the kind man's look turned to one of horror and disbelief.  
"I.....I mean, I woke up here, a few days ago...." Tears came to her eyes as she tried to explain. "I couldn't remember anything. I don't know where I am...or.....or who I am..." She was outright sobbing now and the man wasn't helping much staring at her like he was. "You're the only one who understands me. Please, do you know who I am?" Ayla begged.  
Jondalar nodded as his body finally complied and he moved close to Ayla, taking her in his arms. "Sshhh, it's alright" he crooned as he rocked her gently, stroking her hair. "Your name is Ayla.....and you're my mate."

CONTINUED IN CHAPTER TWO: **SHADOWS OF THE PAST**


End file.
